My wish for you

I don’t know what this new year will bring. I don’t know if you’ll get that job you’ve been hoping for, or if your dreams are about to come crashing down all around you. What I do know is that though we cannot control others around us, we can control ourselves. The way we react to situations, the way we treat others and the blessings we can provide to them.

And so my wish for you in 2010 is that you will be able to be the best that you can be, that you ill reach all the goals that you set for yourself, that at the end of the year, you’ll be able to say “Thank God, I did it.” My wish for you is that your family will not be struck by any kind of tragedy-be it death, ill health, divorce or even ‘minor’ issues like misunderstandings between loved ones. But if these things happen, my wish for you is that you ill find strength from God, those who love you, your online community and loving strangers that you haven’t met yet, but who will prove to be a blessing in 2010.

My wish for my pregnant friends (including those who will fall pregnant in the next year) is that their babies are healthy and that they will inherit all your positive traits, grow to love you and respect you always.

My wish for my single friends is that you will be able to enjoy your singleness, like so many of you do. I’m one of those who doesn’t want to see every single person married to someone. I’m happy if you’re happy! Nowadays, there are too many unhappy marriages. So my wish for you is that if you do find that special man/woman, that they will make you feel special all the days of your life. And if not, then you’ll have more time to do some good for those around you-via volunteer work, spending more time with your friends who will need the support that only a single, childless girlfriend can provide. (It’s not easy for mothers to leave their babies and provide a shoulder to cry on)

My wish for other wives and mothers is that we will nurture our children to love and respect their Creator. I pray that we will be the helpmates our husbands need. My wish for you is that your husbands will treat you like the queen you are. That he will listen to your fears, not brush them away but really listen, hold you close and assure that he’ll always be there.

My wish for everyone who will read this is that next year will end with us being wiser, more loving, more caring, stronger and with no regrets.

With lots of love…

Thandi

Back from Malawi

Yes, we were out the country. It wasn’t planned though. When we came into the country, we thought all would be ok because we have residency permits for a year’s stay. But when we got to the Botswana border, they told us we could only keep the car out of South Africa for a short time-this after we’d written that we want the car out for a year. We shortened it to 3 months and the guy was still giving us attitude, telling us that we would be arrested if we kept the car out for that long. We were adamant that we’d not make it shorter than 3 months, so eventually he went to go ask his superior, who let us keep it at 3 months, but told us we had to leave Tanzania at the end of that time.

We had the same problem when we were entering Tanzania..but did get the 3 months. When we arrived, hubby went to ask the nearest customs’ officials if we could find a way to keep the car here for a longer period. They called the immigration people in a town called Iringa (more than 100km away)  and they said we could keep extending it on a monthly basis. Hubby wasn’t convinced that they were correct, but he left it. Last month we drove up, they extended it, all was fine. We went on Monday to extend it again (The expiry day was Tuesday) and the guy said it couldn’t be done. That the car’s  only allowed 4 months in the country but we could try the Commissioner in Dar. Which, as regular readers know, is not close by. We had a staff member there at the time, so we faxed all the documents to him. But they didn’t arrive!! So Tuesday morning we drove to Mafinga town again (Not very close either!) and faxed them-again. After 2 hours they eventually all got to him. BUT…the commissioner said NO. We’d have to leave the country.

I made plans for the kids to stay with a Zambian lady, looked up border closing times, borrowed money…Oh, did I not mention we had no money? Well, since hubby’s wallet got stolen in Dar, he had to apply for new bank cards from SA. They arrived, but the pin didn’t, so we haven’t been able to withdraw any money. We had transferred money into my mother’s bank and asked her to send it via moneygram. Problem was, our staff member in Dar didn’t have his ID with him, he’d left it here in Mafinga. We tried to fax the ID we were given by his wife, his driving licence, but they wanted his ID. His wife went to fax a copy, but they wanted the original..So, we had no money of our own, till someone graciously helped us out.

We packed up quickly, packed up the kids’ clothes, gluten free food and off we went. To Malawi. It’s a much closer border than the Zambia one we used when we entered.

And we then drove back into the country the very next day. Talk about fatigue. But all’s well that ends well. I’m thankful that we didn’t have any accidents. Yes, there were the usual clsoe calls in this country, ith oncoming traffic overtaking into our lane. And the car in front of us ran into a little girl that as crossing the road. The child just ran into the road without looking, the driver tried to avoid her, she then ran in the wrong direction and got hit, rolling twice while we hoped the car wouldn’t then run over her little body.Thankfully it managed to stop. It was horrible but thankfully she seemed to be ‘ok.’ She was able to move her legs, sit up screaming. The car that hit her was a pickup so one of the pedestrians who’d seen this happening, ran, picked her up and scooped her into the back of the pickup. This child was alone so another man, also a stranger who happened to be there, jumped into the back as well and off they zoomed to the hospital. Poor driver, The women who’d been watching were berating him, even though he’d done nothing wrong. I’m just grateful he hadn’t been driving ‘fast’ because the damage would have been bad.

I know I’d said I’d write every day this week, but now you know why I didn’t! Am I forgiven for the unintended lie?

So in a nutshell, today I’m grateful for a safe journey, thankful the kids were happy and that we were able to sort the car thing out.

Oh, the top picture with my handbag on my head..Over here the locals put things on their head and balance them like that, usually without even  holding them with one hand. From buckets of water, bowls, handbags (I kid you not!!) Bibles and firewood.

The pictures were taken at Lake Malawi.

New year coming…and some hair talk

We are now entering upon a new year, and may it prove a
beginning of years to us. If in the old year we have made
failures, let us commence the new by rectifying these errors
as far as we can. If the old year has borne into eternity
a spotted record of opportunities neglected and privileges
slighted, let us see that that of the new year is
free from these blemishes. Its days are all before us; let
us begin now to make the history of each as it passes, such
as we shall not tremble to meet in the judgment. Let us
fill each one full of loving, helpful work for others. Let
us develop all our powers, and make of ourselves all that
God designed that we should.

My Jesus spent every single day of His life doing ‘loving, helpful' work for others. If I claim to be a Christian-a Christ follower, then this is my duty too. Not only towards those who are m sisters and brothers in Christ, but to anyone who needs it. Jesus didn’t discriminate, He healed and fed everyone who came to Him, whether they were Jewish or not. And He did not do it expecting something in return. May we follow our great Example.

Ella’s hair is also brown.

Yesterday we went to a shop we’d never been to and the saleslady just ‘lurrrved’ her hair. It was so funny. Because Ella’s used to hair growing up and out as opposed to down, and because we’d usually cut it when it got too uncombable (I’m allowed to make words up, English is fluid!! LOL) She’s having to get used to going from this (below)

to this (Yesterday she was complaining that her ‘braidlocks are touching my ear and it’s ticklish!’ Had to tell her that that’s the price of growing locs, they grow down and touch your ears, ha ha.)

Now that they’re more than a year old, I’ve started brushing them  with a soft brush. Still spritz with a mixture of aloe vera juice, jojoba oil, peppermint oil, tea tree oil and avocado oil.

For my Christian readers

A new year is opening before us, and what shall its record be? You look back upon the past year, and you see many things that you would be glad to have different, that you wish had been better. How will it be with the new year that is just opening? Shall we not at its commencement present ourselves to God, an acceptable offering, to work, to suffer, and to endure according to his will? Shall we not, every one of us, live a life of faith in the Son of God? We cannot afford to live a single day in sin; for "the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Then let us so live that when he comes he may crown us with glory, honor, immortality, and eternal life

Instead of doing a thankful Thursday, I’ll spend this week reflecting, posting everyday, or so I hope, and thanking God for something each day.

I was looking for a specific quote that’s on hubby’s laptop but he’s working on it so i did a search on my one. Before I found that one, I came across this one and I decided to post it. Just wanted to focus on the underlined phrase today.

In the past, when I thought of a New Year, I often hoped for a better year than the current one. I’d already been hoping for one that would involve less tragedy than this year has.(Last week they buried my cousin. She had an 8 and 5 year old daughter. I only told one person here.) There was only one year that was almost as bad as this one. When my aunt lost half her family-also in a car accident. They were on their way to a wedding in our city, her son was going to be a page boy in a wedding. My aunt was driving and a truck smashed into them she lost 2 of her 4 children along with their nanny. One of those children was my best friend. I loved her so much. I often wonder what she would have made of her life.

Anyway, I will not rehash the tragedies of this year. Suffice to say, we lost more than 10 people to death this year. Most, if not all, of them had children. So I was praying that nothing ‘bad’ would happen in 2010. I was selfishly hoping that I’d be able to enter my final year of uni with only our loooooong drive back to SA being the hiccup along the road. We also plan to visit our widowed mother in law, our orphaned cousins in Zimbabwe, before visiting our widowed sister in law and nephews in Johannesburg as well as our orphaned cousin. And our dear brother who’s been doing a LOT of work, trying to get them help via the Road Accident Fund, besides visiting, organising specialists to check on the youngest boy…I have aunts with cancer and other undefined illnesses, so I fear that this year is already doomed.

But whatever happens, I will ‘Come into His presence singing Jesus is Lord’ and I will pray without ceasing so that I have strength to endure. I will pray that if there’s any suffering this next year, that it will not break us. And most importantly, that it will not stop any of our family members from serving and loving God. I will rest in the knowledge that whatever happens, is according to God’s will. And He knows best.

Can my 3yr old read my blog? and Nicole’s answer

She tells me today “Mommy, are you going to wash your hair?” So I tell her that I just recently washed it, less than a week ago. And she says “Mommy, you MUST wash your hair,” (While pulling at a loc) “it’s dirty.” So I tell her it’s brown not dirty and she argues with me! “No, it’s dirty, not brown!You must wash it!” I give up. That henna’s beginning to look very good right now.

Nope, she’ll have to deal with it. Sister Ruth (listed as Caribbean Wordkeeper in my blogroll) asked if it’s not because of our water. Here we have a fresh water source but I’m sure in SA we do have some chemicals in the water that could ‘bleach’ our hair. Question is-if it’s the water, what’s it doing to our insides? I really have no clue what chemicals we have in our water so I don’t know if it’s the water, the sun, health issues or ALL of these factors at play. And how come some people’s hair DOESN’T get bleached by the sun. Is it genetic? I don’t spend THAT much time in the sun. It’s a maximum of 1 and a half hours a day, and that’s only about 5 times a week.

Nicole, you asked where we are.

We’re in the Southwest region of Tanzania, arrived here near the end of August. We’d planned to stay for at least 1-2 years but then shortened it to 1 year (Mainly because of funding issues)…Then when we lost various relatives we weren’t even sure if we should come at all. We have some very ill nephews, orphaned cousins…But we didn’t want to break the commitment we’d made, and we wanted to set a precedent for the young people at our church. Sadly, the missionary spirit is missing and we hoped to show that it’s possible to at least give up a year of your life to do something concrete for God. I do know that unless they are single, making it financially would be difficult. Our church often tends to focus on the bad role America will play in prophecy, but they ignore how much more generous American PEOPLE are when it comes to mission work. (Something I’ve mentioned before) There’s a certain missionary organisation based overseas. They told us straight up to try an organisation based on our continent because there’s no way we’d raise the funds they require each missionary (couple) to have before they start the programme. this is very true. We have been in touch with a family whose daughter’s name is also Eliora. They are from Cote d’Ivoire and they struggled to raise money in their country, they ended up having to go to America to raise he necessary start up funding and monthly sponsorship. I wish the problem was that we were poor. ie. that we were giving, but what we (As Africans) were giving wasn’t enough because we are poor. But those who do give are few in number and I guess this occurs in many countries on our continent.

We looked in Southern Africa and there was nothing on the web by the official church. We eventually came across an organisation that falls under the same umbrella body as the one we’re currently at.

Our first choice was to go do medical missionary training in Belize and then go out and do real missionary work for 6 months on our own. But then correspondence with the organisers died and they now own a restaurant in the US so I guess the whole ‘thing’ died…

So we then looked closer to home and Kibidula was where we ended up. It’s an institution that runs a school for lay missionaries, an agricultural training school and a free primary school where the kids are taught in English. If you want more info I’ll post the link once the new website goes live.

So here we are. Because of our relatives who need help-be it financial, be it with our presence- we’ll be leaving at the end of March. My kids are looking forward to going back to South Africa. Eliora misses riding in a trolley/pushcart in a shop. I don’t think she likes the open air market! And my son misses eating oranges. (There are oranges here, yellowish/green in colour and very hard to chew, compared to the orange oranges in SA)

Just a few more months left. I don’t think I’m really looking forward to it.

Size DOES matter

when it comes to vegetables.

That’s our giant kale, and boy is it huge. It’s one of the only few seeds that we were found here that has actually germinated. Besides this lovely huge kale, we also have green peppers (that we found already growing) corn (Still growing) carrots, cucumber, tomatoes (That the neighbour’s chickens have sadly been eating so we’re out of them at the moment) and lettuce. I will miss this garden when we’re gone. But we still plan to get out the city –so one day…

Speaking of which. The missionary ‘door’ seems to be closed but it’s not like we weren’t doing anything missionary-minded in the city, so we’ll continue with that when we get back and somehow work on moving to the countryside one day. Will take a few years, but that’s our goal. I really felt what I thought was the call to work somewhere where there is absolutely no knowledge of the gospel, but I do believe that might have been me moving ahead of the Lord.

Wherever the people of God are placed, in the crowded cities,
in the villages, or among the country byways, there is
a home mission field, for which a responsibility is laid
upon them by their Lord's commission.p. 27, Para. 4, [1907MS].

The culprit

It IS sunlight. Or so I think. I could also be lacking in B12 because of celiac disease. What am I talking about? My hair, of course! Remember we were wondering if sunlight was the cause of our hair becoming lighter? It turns out it is very possible. I know, probably obvious to some of you, but I had no idea sunlight can bleach your hair! But I don’t think I’ll do what the other sistah does and dye it black. I’ll just stick to the way God seemingly wants it to be LOL. Of course, if it really does look like a ‘dirty’ brown as she called it, then maybe I’ll work on it. But we’ll see. IF I ever tried to ‘fix’ it though I don’t think it’s broke then I’d use something natural like vegetable dyes or henna. Maybe this is why my mother used to ask if I wash it, cos she thought the brown was dirt??? I’d probably make it all ‘even’ cos right now it’s mainly the ends that are very brown. We’ll see. I’m not a colour fan. On others, it looks wonderful-unless it’s crazy pink or purple, but the thought of colour on my head…Can’t see myself ever doing it! But I won’t say never! People already think those of us who rock locs don’t wash our hair, I don’t want to give them reason to believe it!

But it also depends on the lighting. The picture above makes it look much worse than it really is, or so I think. Compare it to the one below.

I decided to curl my hair on Thursday. You want to know why? Because I was afraid hubby would be unimpressed that we brought my perm rods all the way here and would drive all the way back without me ever using them. We still have a few months here, but in case I never feel like using them again, I decided to do it now when the urge was still there LOL. He was already threatening that if there were any clothes that we hadn’t worn at least 10 times, he’d leave them here. Now bear in mind, my aunt who’s a diplomat in Portugal sent some clothes with my cousin. The clothes arrived the day before we left so we packed them straight into the roof-box. Some of those clothes are way too large for the kids. There’s no way they’ll have worn them by the time we leave. But there’s no way I’ll leave them behind, what would the poor woman think!? LOL.

I just added this pic for the fun of it. It was taken one or two months ago.

I'm Crazy

There's still one more Thursday in the year.I obviously hate this
year-without knowing it.Why else would I 'wish' it were over? LOL.

--
Want to know more about me? See www.thandislocsnlife.blogspot.com

Snake in the house somewhere??

Well, today I was going to give you a long list of things I am thankful for. Things we've been given without ever asking for them. Like 2 pineapples yesterday LOL. When we were still back home I'd searched high and low for colloidal silver and I got sick and someone gave us a bottle when I was ill during exams. That was a huge deal, I even told my sister in law about it. But today they took it back. LOL. It's the only gluten free health supplement I had and I've been using it on the kids who have bad colds right now. But easy come, easy go. At least the kids still have a bottle of a natural supplement we got when were still in SA. But somehow, (even though I'd never asked for it and they have the right to take it back-don't know for how long, don't know if we weren't supposed to be using it all along and was only meant to use it when I was ill. Maybe it's because no word of explanation was given so I'm at a loss) that has put a dampener on my day.

So on this last Thankful Thursday of the year, what am I grateful for? It's more than material/perishable possessions that we've been given. I'm grateful for so much, even though what has been one of the most trying years of my family's life. This is THE holiday season, our families would be with their parents, their husbands..but instead they're grieving their widowhood, they're with their grandparents and not their parents because their parents died this year. It's a sobering thought. And I know that there are thousands if not millions who will find this to be the worst time of the year.

All the same, I'm grateful for the good things have happened. Even though our widowed sister in law is suffering-physically, mentally, emotionally, at least strangers will help her bear the load. She will have her youngest, if only for one day, with her tomorrow at home. Our girl cousin went to Zim and arrived safely. Remember, the accident happened en route to Zim. She asked the driver not to use the route they used that terrible night. And when she got to our gran and aunt, I'm sure it was horrible-seeing each other knowing that there should be a third person there. But with all the road accidents in SA at this time of year, I'm grateful she got there safely.

I'm grateful we haven't been attacked by any snakes. We found this newly shed snake skin in a room in the house. Thankfully not a bedroom. There's a room where I throw away any peels, where we keep the firewood for the stove and water heater, where the water heater is. Hubby found the skin this morning. A few days ago, when I was throwing some peels etc into the bucket, I saw a tail disappearing into the boxes near the bucket, but because we often have lizards in the house, I assumed that's what it was-the tail of a lizard. It gave me a fright and I didn't go in for a day or so. Now I wonder if it wasn't the snake. It's not a big skin..which is actually a bad thing cos it looks like it can get through the crack between the door and the frame into the kitchen. I don't care how 'safe' it's bite is, I'd rather now know at all!

And I'm thankful that the earthquakes haven't been severe. Someone mentioned tornadoes in their land. I don't envy you guys, that would scare me too! So, we've lost loved ones, had to deal with minor irritations, but we've grown, right? And I'm thankful that we've been spared thus far. May each extra day we have on this earth be a blessing for those around us. I'm thankful for life.

Eggs or calves?

The oxen win. We won’t be doing the chicken farming thing. There are too many animal products put in their feed, and if they make their own feed, then they would make a loss. And the vaccines have their own funny ingredients…But I enjoyed being out the house all the same. We drove past areas we’d passed on our way here, but it didn’t seem familiar at all.

It was so funny. For once I was glad I have celiac disease. At the home of the farmer, we were offered sickeningly sweet tea (I take my herbal teas without any sugar) and white bread and fried rolls, for lack of a better word. What we call vetkoek in SA. Now we are not white bread eaters (Ok,I eat white bread cos the rice flour they use is usually white. I used to have wholegrain bread mix but they don’t sell it much) but because the kids and I couldn’t eat anything they offered us, poor hubby had no choice but to have a slice of white bread. Thankfully there was no marge or butter on it cos he doesn’t eat that either. And he doesn’t eat deep friend foods unless desperate. Thankfully the people we were with aren’t as health-conscious so they helped him finish the offerings off. The host later asked if he should get us eggs, carbonated drinks, a LIVE CHICKEN- he was met with a no.

So now we need to find out how much 4 oxen (minimum) will cost and raise funds to buy them for the widows. They will be kept in Steward’s yard. I pray we can get that for them. If you want to know why this is urgent and you missed my post about it, read HERE

“It looks like a dead body”

said my son after we’d finished kneading the bread. (WHich I do admit does look a bit odd)

I guess he’s seen too many pictures of Jesus wrapped up in a shroud. Today I just made baked potatoes and bread for their lunch/breakfast tomorrow. We’re leaving at about 5:15am to pick up our friend Steward and then we’re going to go learn about large scale chicken-rearing-no, not for us, for the widows.

So, I made something they can eat with their fingers. Now usually I don’t need to knead bread, but we only have one more box of my usual gluten-free Bread Mix. My mother, bless her, sent us quite a few packages of bread flours and so on, but the instructions are in Italian, Spanish and some other language. No English! I decided to save that one box for when we leave so we’ll have bread for the kids on that ‘almost week-long journey’ back. At least I can mix it up quickly and I know what it needs, water and 3T of oil and more importantly, I know that it comes out perfect every time I bake it. In the meantime I’ve looked for instructions for this other type of flour on the ‘net. Found many different recipes but they all require a few ingredients that I don’t have. So I improvised. Needless to say, I’m scurrrrred (Yes, I spelt it with a ‘u’ on purpose)

Part of ‘school’ is the kids watching me cook and helping where possible, so they helped me knead the bread and gained a new word in their vocabulary at the same time. They’d never seen me knead bread before-no need till now-and they enjoyed ‘helping’ me.

Another thing I’m not. I’m not a veganism “warrior!” I believe we should be as healthy as possible. But there are already inequalities between the US and SA, how much more in this little corner of the world? We can either get stuff sent or buy it in Dar, or grow it. But the people around here are eating for survival. So yes, I support any venture that will help; the widows become self-sufficient, even if it involves selling (and eating) eggs. Laid by healthy free-range chickens, of course.

My dad, when he heard on the news that there have been earthquakes here, didn’t call us. He called my mom, who’s out of town visiting her (ill) sisters to call us to ask how we are! I hear MIL also called worried about it, the news apparently reached dear old England too. Besides a fleeting thought “Hmm, is it best to be under the bed or what?” we haven’t felt nervous or scared – yet. But I would be grateful if there were no more quakes. The epicentre was in the country this time, the ones I mentioned the other time were in Malawi.

Modesty is not always righteous Pt 2

I’m not saying that it’s wrong to be completely covered up, I’m saying that don’t shove it down people’s throats. Say it once then let them study for themselves!

Personally, I believe the most important thing, is to show me WHY you believe so strongly about something, be it eating right, talking right etc. And you’d better make sure your reasons make sense. Telling me that some guy has shown that in Bible times people didn’t wear sandals therefore we mustn’t, isn’t good enough. And telling me that Jesus’ robe is long-sleeved therefore our clothes should also be, isn’t good enough other!And be balanced. Don’t spend your time telling me to be vegan if you go home and beat your wife. It doesn’t work. Christianity is more than just a set of do’s and don’ts. Don’t be fooled, dressing right won’t get you to heaven. Telling everybody, even the well-meaning Indian guy at the shop who wishes you a merry christmas, that Christmas is pagan will not win you points. Especially if you do it in a self-righteous air.

On the other hand, it would have been nice if pastors had told us how to truly glorify God in our lives. How to reflect Him in everything we do. The first time I heard a pastor talk about dressing, gossip etc was when I was 25 and had already read it up and accepted it for myself. And yep, he didn’t just tell us what to do, he first presented Christ to us-how He loves us, how much He sacrificed, how we don’t deserve His mercy yet he takes care of us. read Ezekiel 16. This is a wonderful, yet sad, chapter of how God treats His people and how we repay Him. I will never forget Ps Koranteng-Pipim’s sermon. I’d been despairing of ever hearing an inspiring sermon at church, but he went to Kenya when we were there and he conducted a Revival Week. The man was fearless! After the choir/ a group sang, some people would clap, he rebuked this right there and then. Saying that they were praising the singers and not God. He spoke against the various decorations that some of the members were wearing, showing from the Bible how we old-time members should know better.

Ok, I’ve drifted from my point. I can trust pastors like him because he is well-rounded. Not perfect, there are still areas I’m not in agreement with him, LOL. But he doesn’t talk ad nauseum about one. specific. lifestyle aspect. And he preaches with love. He is really into his congregation. You can tell he wants us all to be saved.

Thankful for friendlessness?

Do you have that special friend? Someone you are on the same page with when it comes to hot button issues? When your husband does something exceptional for you, who do you think of as the one you can rejoice with? Who’s that special girlfriend who you know you can visit anytime of the day and she’ll always be happy to see you?

I once had a friend like that. Sometimes we’d dress alike, and sometimes we’d end up dressed alike only because we had the same taste in clothing. Pf course people refused to believe that we didn’t ALWAYS plan what we’d wear. We wore each other’s clothes, had the same dreams “We’ll fall pregnant at the same time and wear very short tops and show our lovely round bellies!!” (HA HA HA Ignorance is bliss!) We never argued because we felt the same way about issues.

Now that friendship is gone and no-one has taken that space. Yes, my husband is my best friend, but I miss having a BFF..sometimes. But most of the time, my life is so busy that I know I wouldn’t be able to give as much attention to her as I should. Unless she were married with toddlers, or had homeschooled older kids, I know there’d be important areas she would NOT understand. There’s a single girl who wrote a FB update along the lines that there’s nothing difficult/tiring about being a (good) parent. LIKE SHE WOULD KNOW!!

Who knows. Maybe this mythical BFF would become so important to me that I would not give God the time He deserves. Maybe instead of doing Bible study, I would be chatting with her. It would be great to have a female close by (There are plenty online) who believe the same I do in terms of Christian standards, but that thought only comes to mind when I’m surrounded by those who are very different. I know Jesus is my ultimate friend, the one who only wants the best for me and is ever present, always listening, but it’s also nice to have someone who you can see and who responds verbally when you talk to them.

I’m thankful that I have a husband who IS my best friend. He may not be as emotional as I am about things but his beliefs are similar to mine. We may approach problems differently, but we both agree that the same things ARE problems. And he loves me unconditionally. I remember when I was sick this ex-BFF went out in the rain to look for lemons at the not-so-nearby 7-11. She never made any putdowns, but always had something positive to say about me. Finding a female like that is VERY rare, in my experience. She was selfless, and so is my husband. Working hard to ensure our happiness.He’ll never understand period pain but he’ll massage my tummy anyway.

Mommy why is your hair brown?

I wish I knew the answer to that!

My relaxed hair was brown but after I BC’d, my natural hair was all black… (Feb 2009)

And now it’s going back to brown-especially the ends. I have a friend with traditional locs who says her hair’s also ‘going brown.’ Hmm. I’m not worried, just wondering about the cause. We use totally different types of hair products. I’m totally ‘natural’ and from what I last knew, she uses whatever shampoo and product the salon suggests-and uses when she goes for re-ti’s. When she had relaxed hair it was black…

Hope you can see the brown ends in this picture.

(December 2009)

Thank you Ruth and Anna Renee! If anyone ever complains about their hair being sore, I’ll give them your tips-as seen in the comment section. So silly how obvious it is but when you’ve lived the ‘lye’ for so long it’s so hard to think, try different things and to acknowledge that it just won’t be the same as fried hair. Thanks ladies! If I ever undo my locs-or my daughters-I won’t be as ignorant as before!

It’s raining so I’d better hit the publish button before reception disappears-the pros and cons of using 3G cards!

Quick Question for Loose (ie.unlocked sistahs)

As soon as my natural hair would start growing, I’d be in a hurry to get it re-fried or put braids in because it was sore to comb. (Bearing in mind I hadn’t read Cheleski’s book about taking care of natural hair so I was probably putting unnecessary tension on it) But I never (except when I was a child) had a full head of natural loose hair, I went straight from relaxed hair to locs. So now the question is-does the pain –or lack thereof depend on hair type and education? ie. How to comb it, what type comb to use etc? Ruth, what kind of comb do you use? Back in SA we use an afro comb, generally. Wide-toothed combs are not commonly used in our homes. Is that part of the problem?

I ask this because Ruth has been blessed. When she combs her hair it’s not sore. I ahve no clue what hair type she is, I don’t know what hair type I am so even if I knew it would make no difference!!!

So, my loose-haired sisters, is it generally painful when you comb your hair? My friends say it is. Should we be educating our sisters about what type combs to use? WDYT?

PS. She mentions that she combs it when it's wet. I read that that's a no-no because it places too much pressure on the hair. When I used to comb my hair while wet, it WAS easier. But I always sacrificed a few strands here and there and ...I didn't use a wide-toothed comb.

PPS. I've lost a few comments! If you don't see your comment below, it's not because I didn't publish it, it just disappeared!!

Keep your dreadlocks

When we were in Dar, as we were parting from a friend of ours, he said “Keep your dreadlocks!” I have no idea what prompted that, we hadn’t been talking about hair, nor had we ever mentioned hair to him before. Methinks there’s a lot of pressure for conformity here. I know a napptural lady whose husband would rather she cut her hair short like a man than have dreadlocks. I don’t know if it’s just the Tanzanian culture, or if it’s more widespread.

A while ago someone not in SA or here, wrote something in an email about how amazing it is that Ella and I have locs ‘cos they wouldn’t be allowed in their church. I asked on what grounds they’d be forbidden-never got a reply back.

I can understand it being taboo for MEN to have long locs, considering 1 Cor 11, but what is so wrong with women having them? And is this an African thing, or is it everywhere? We had an American telling us that they’re laidback so we won’t get any grief from them about our locs. I hadn’t known that there would be any ‘grief’ over them anyway.

So what causes it? For me, locs were always ‘just another hairstyle.’ I never heard of anyone being rebuked for having them-I guess it doesn’t help that no-one in my church ever had them so I wouldn’t know! I was asked “Would Ellen White approve of your hair?” Why wouldn’t she? She hated anything artificial (So she’d maybe have had something to say against weaves)anything that would involve a long time spent at the mirror, she disapproved of anything damaging to the body (So that would mean no relaxers)..And I don’t even know if she’d ever comment on black hair anyway!

What are the reasons that some churches would frown on women sporting their hair the way God made ? Loose hair is painful and I know a few natural ladies who sometimes wish they could relax their hair  because of how painful it is and how long it takes to wash, comb etc. At least with locs we don’t spend much time on it every day. Why would God be disapproving?

PS. I’m not knocking loose hair, just wondering why there’s this anti-loc feeling when it is less time consuming than loose hair?

A huge sigh of relief

Thank you for all your encouragement. I did pass everything. As feared, the lowest marks were for those three subjects I wasn’t able to study for. But I’ll take low versus a fail any day! So yes. God willing, I WILL graduate next year!

The dampener is this. Remember I mentioned my sister in law who needs to lose weight before having a cancerous tumour removed on her kidney-the one that was preventing her from walking painlessly? She had a check up yesterday and though she’s losing weight, they found that her cancerous cells have multiplied on her ovary so as soon as possible, she’ll have a hysterectomy. It’s risky but they have no choice. But as for the other one, they’ll still wait for her to lose all the weight they told her to.

Tremendously Thankful Thursday

This morning we got a text message that read “If you can tune into highveld fm.Lindani are getting their christmas wish” That threw us for a loop! So hubby got onto the ‘net and started trying to find the radio station while we wondered what the sender meant. “But Lindani can’t talk! How would they know what his wish is?” (Lindani is the boy who lost his father-hubby’s brother-in a car accident en route to hubby’s dad’s funeral. The accident affected a few other relatives and besides the death of an aunt, he was the worst affected, in a vegetative state)

So we listened in, having no idea if the programme had already passed or not. We both imagined that maybe these people had gone to the hospice that Lindani is in and they asked various kids what their wish was. I imagined that maybe they’d asked his mum about his specific one. Then the intro came and I burst into tears. Of course, they played tear-jerker music, and as soon as they said that “en route to a funeral…” It  just brought all the emotion back and I cried. That set hubby off and the kids-who were having breakfast-were totally bemused! They both got up and asked “What’s wrong? Why are you guys crying” With Ella asking me if I was sick!!

To cut the long story short, Caroline, the mother, was live on air and had to recount the accident, how she’s been coping and talk about Lindani’s very serious injuries. It was terrible. They also mentioned his brother Ronald’s spine injury…But they got to the good news. A sponsor-I don’t know which company is doing all this-will get Ronald a wheelchair and pay for biweekly physiotherapy for him. They will also pay his school fees for a year. Because Lindani has been in hospital since August 3rd, they said they will also pay the costs to get him home at least for that one day-xmas. The boy is in a body cast and is unable to speak but I can imagine that this will be good for him. in fact, it will be good for Ronald. He’s apparently been asking to see his little brother-now he’ll be able to. And the best of all, they will pay for their grocery needs for a year. What a load off!! She was crying, we were crying, the kids were wondering what was going on…my heart broke when she told the DJ how hard it’s been.

Now we all know there’s nothing Christian about christmas, but this is the one of the best things that could happen to them-especially at this time of year. My mum had been planning to rustle up some cash and try make sure this holiday season wouldn’t feel as sad as it could be. She wanted to buy them tons of food so the absence of their dad wouldn’t be felt as much.

Speaking of my mum. She has sacrificed and taken a bus ride all the way from Cape Town to Johannesburg to go see them. She doesn’t want to be a burden on our brother there so she’s also booked a hotel for a few days. She wanted to see if she could get Ronald checked out by a physiotherapist and just see the kids for herself. She was meant to leave at 4pm yesterday afternoon. She got to the bus station at 3:30 and the bus left about2-33 hours later. When we called her today there’d been another delay. Poor woman must be so hot, tired, discouraged…She’d wanted to surprise one of the injured victims, G. But now she has no idea if she’ll even get there before nightfall.

I spoke to G yesterday. She was asking me if  I knew that my mum is going there ‘next week!’ (LOL) She’s also one of the accident victims, is only now starting to learn to walk without crutches. She was saying she’s so excited that the day she sees her, she’s going to run! G is an orphan now, thanks to this accident that took her only living parent-her mum. She’s always telling me how my mother has taken the place of her mother. That though she’s sad, it helps that she’s there. What G doesn’t know is that my mum has sacrificed airfare to get her to Zimbabwe to see her mother’s grave and her grandmother-her mother’s mother. She never saw the corpse, she was still in hospital when they buried her mother and all she saw was a picture I took of her mother’s lifeless body. Right now our brother is trying to get a flight for her-so don’t you tell her! She’s thinking of going up by road,something my mother does NOT want considering her fragile and still healing bones. She’s off work till March next year! Let’s hope he can get flights, it’s obviously a busy time of the year.

So in a nutshell, what am I thankful for today? The lady who wrote into that radio show about our sister in law Caroline. And my mum who goes way above and beyond what she needs to do. She’s not exactly young but she’d rather take a 2 day bus ride and pay for someone not related to her to fly somewhere. I hope I will never forget these lessons in selflessness that she is teaching us by example.

Sex for my cows?

Our contact has just visited us. He spoke to the widows this past weekend, finding out what their needs are. They have fields, they have the seed and manure..but no cattle to plough with. They go around to borrow oxen and the single men first demand sex. If they go to married people, the wives say the widows are after their men. What to do????

So we need to work on that. And it's the same problem when their longdrops (pit latrines/ outside toilets) get full and they need to dig new ones. This world is so sad.

Earthquake..the kids shouted "Goliath is coming!!!!"

On Sabbath, MISSION PILOT and his wife told us about earthquakes.

On Sunday night, while the kids were sleeping and I was knitting while hubby was taking the bath, I felt the sofa move! (Now take note, this is a built in couch, not a rocking chair. At the same time, the wood stove shook and rattled. Then it was over. And hubby didn't feel it so he told me I was imagining things.

This morning at about 5am hubby went outside to see what had kept us up the whole night, making a noise on our roof (Branches from a tree) and as he went outside, I felt the bed shake and a low hum. It lasted longer than the Sunday evening tremor did. He felt it this time too, says as he was opening the door, the pans rattled too. And what about the kids? They thought it was funny that their beds were shaking (They were talking to each other, they don't leave their rooms till they've had their lemon water-lemon's good for digestion and Bk's been complaining of tummy ache lately so we're hoping this will help. So far so good...But anyway!) and my dear son said to his little sister "Oh, my bed is shaking, Goliath is coming!!!"

According to the Seismic Monitor, Sunday's one was 5.1 on theRichter scale and today's was 5.9. The kids said they don't want the 'earth to move again' so let's hope that wish will be granted!

I cannot stand being kept in suspense

Our results are trickling in. And this being me, Mrs Worrywart, I’m a;ready thinking of the worst case scenario. It doesn’t help that  I’ve had at least two nightmares with the same contents. I get my results and I’ve failed three subjects. I travel to Dar, thinking I have time to study, only to get there and find out I’m writing that very day. So I get the paper, nothing is familiar and I burst into tears and leave the room, knowing that I’ve totally flunked.

Considering I considered getting a medical exemption, I’m fully aware that conditions were not great. So my fear is that I really will get my results late and I won’t have had time to study-this is of course with the assumption that i’ll have failed but at least would qualify for supplementary exams…NEXT MONTH!

So far I’ve received 2 out of 8 results…Both passes, but one very low and one great. The low one is the one that is stressing me. What if the others that I wrote when I was much sicker than I was at the time of this ‘not so great one’, are worse? I only got 50%! Worse than 50% IS a fail!! Gulp!!!

Albinos and foreigners

Well well well. As a foreigner, you’re safer here than in my home country, but as an albino, you might be better off in South Africa.

In the northern part of the country (especially) there have been assaults on albinos. Witchcraft, as I’ve mentioned before, is rife in this place and withcdoctors claim that there’s powerful energy in albino body parts. So these poor people are being hounded and hacked or killed to be used in muti (witch medicine) I can’t believe that people would go to such lengths-is your situation so bad that you’d rather kill another human being than look for a different solution? They believe their bones, hair and skin are powerful and add them to potions. Sadly, even children have been killed. In some parts, police escort children to school and they are trying to document all the albinos in the country so they can keep an eye on them. Many have fled to schools for disabled people. The president sponsored an albino woman to have a seat in Parliament, as a sign of solidarity with them.

This is not only a Tanzanian problem, it’s there in Kenya (Though not as widespread) and in Congo they sell potions with albino skin in them. But here…Here’s an excerpt of a news report you might not have seen.

In early May, Vumilia Makoye, 17, was eating dinner with her family in their hut in western Tanzania when two men showed up with long knives.

Vumilia was like many other Africans with albinism. She had dropped out of school because of severe near-sightedness, a common problem for albinos, whose eyes develop abnormally and who often have to hold things like books or cellphones two inches away to see them. She could not find a job because no one would hire her. She sold peanuts in the market, making $2 a week while her delicate skin was seared by the sun.

When Vumilia’s mother, Jeme, saw the men with knives, she tried to barricade the door of their hut. But the men overpowered her and burst in.

“They cut my daughter quickly,” she said, making hacking motions with her hands.

The men sawed off Vumilia’s legs above the knee and ran away with the stumps. Vumilia died.

Crimes against the innocent.

Meanwhile back home, foreigners are still being attacked. This time it was mainly Zimbabweans. They were attacked because the locals claim they are taking their jobs and working on farms for lower wages than they are. So about 3000 Zimbabweans were forced from their shacks and are now housed in tents.

Crimes against the innocent.

But here in Tanzania, I’m sure they’d be welcomed with open arms. Of course, there are no jobs so I doubt there’d be a time when many refugees would come all the way up here! In South Africa we label foreigners ‘amakwerekwere’ – referring to the sound their foreign speech sounds. It’s become quite derogatory, especially in the minds of those to whom it refers. I’ve mentioned before how rudely I’ve been treated back home, because people think I’m foreign. Here it’s the opposite. I only know a smidgen of kiSwahili and English here is not spoken much so when people talk to me in the local language and I get confused I tell them I don’t understand and that I come from South Africa.You should see the smiles break out on their faces, the “Welcome to Tanzania” the questions about SA. It’s refreshing.

I just wish they were all a peaceful people.

Being a Servant- 9:15am

I’m writing this (because hubby has the laptop with him at the office,therefore I’ll type it out later) while waiting for the water to boil I can do the dishes. At the same time, I am very conscious that now would be the best time to sweep and mop the house because the children are outside. I’ve made and served breakfast to kids and their father and lunch is almost done. I’ve made chickpea curry and the rice is three quarters of the way done. The clean laundry needs to be folded and put away and the bedding needs to be changed. The window sills need to be dusted and the kids still need school…

Don’t you ever feel like your (repetitive) duties turn you into a servant rather than an equal? You stay in the same house day after day, seeing the same (little) people, having to remind them of the same thing (Eliora, stop bothering your brother!!) over and over again. You’re very aware of how financially dependent you are and wish you could contribute economically.

But that’s the JOY of being a daughter of Christ. He came to this earth to serve. He had to teach His disciples the same thing over and over again and some of the lessons they understood only after His death and resurrection. He healed and preached day after day, was not well-off financially. He also, like you, felt tired at the end of the day, and like you, even at night He was ‘at work.’ As you pray throughout the day, remember His prayers that ascended for His sheep-day and night. Christ was our servant. Isn’t it wonderful that He gives us the opportunity to serve Him and our families JOYFULLY?

And when your four year old son regularly makes his bed without you ever telling/asking him to, think how Jesus feels when you follow His example and grow in wisdom and grace. You may have days where you feel like an unpaid servant, but our Master was a Servant, and it’s a privilege to learn meekly at His feet.

The ‘servant’ days are far and few between,usually the same round of duties are a pleasure, the joys of staying home outweigh the negatives, but when you feel sad, tired and depressed, think about this. It may just lift your spirits a bit.