Saturday, July 29, 2017

"But I Thought I Was Marrying a Christian"

SO many women have lamented this sad fact. "I thought he was a Christian. But look at what happened? My good, Christian guy turned out not to be so good nor so Christian. Where did I go wrong? Why did I not see it?"

There HAVE been cases where the lady finds out a day before the wedding that her husband-to-be was canoodling with another woman but pride stops her from cancelling the wedding. There are a few red flags that don't really seem to be red until hindsight. Sometimes you ignore red flags because hey, "God can change anyone and he wants to change." But generally, you don't get married and while listening to his vows, think to yourself, "I'm preparing myself for heartache, this is not a good, Christian man."

Maybe he was.

Maybe he WAS Christian all along.

Maybe on that day, at that moment when he promised to make you his entire world, he was a truly good guy.

Like Lucifer. Adam. Both created by God Himself. Not born in a sinful world. Perfect. Absolutely flawless. Not bound by bad genes, no bad traits to inherit or fight against, no family history of evil and disobedience to turn their backs on. There was nothing within them that would have even made them hanker after evil. No alcoholic-gene, no fighting the effects of prenatal exposure to hard drugs. They matured in perfection. They were perfect too.

They were "truly good" until one day, they weren't.

David, a man after God's own heart. Until..he wasn't. Until he took another man's wife. He was so far gone from God that God had to send a prophet to show him that he'd stopped being the "good guy" he'd taken from the sheep and put in a palace.

To you who honestly thought he was a "good Christian guy" and are now wondering if you were blind back then. If you were sincere, if you were living up to all the light you had... Maybe you weren't wrong. Maybe he WAS good.

But one day..he wasn't.

And it has nothing to do with you being stupid and missing the signs. If there were no signs, how could you read them? You did not put yourself in the mess you are in. You were not stupid for choosing to love that "good, Christian guy" you'd prayed for. He was an answer to prayer, just like David was what the Israelites needed.

Until..he wasn't.

The question now is, what is he doing, how is he reacting, when his Nathan comes to show him that he is guilty?

He was good.

Where does he stand now?

We cannot say. Just like we assumed nothing untoward was happening till we find out it is, how will we say that now things are the way they should be? We cannot say. Just like no wife can say with certainty that her husband is guarding himself. Not unless she can read his mind. But we can definitely say what good MARKERS of the way forward  are.

But that's for another post.

(For this post, I focus specifically on men like the ones in the previous post. Men who through their (alleged) repentance convince their wives to choose to stay. The others.. the others who still bring their women to the marital bed when the wife chose to stay are another story. I have no respect for them as priests of the home, I despise the pain they cause these humble women, and I would tell a wife in that situation to leave if conditions allowed. Hey, if I had extra room I'd take them in till conditions did allow for them to live separate lives instead of having those floozies thrown in their faces week after week. Those men are-biblically speaking- bad today.)

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