Monday, July 31, 2017

Fresh Betrayal by Your Husband? Your Reaction is Normal.

You will grieve. You will grieve. You will mourn. Do not feel as if you are over-reacting. It only makes sense. The man you knew is no longer there, especially if before you found out, he was a paragon of virtue. There are some husbands who the wives are only waiting for confirmation about, and others who are so 'holy' that it's the last thing their wives and friends would ever imagine. This will cut through your heart. "But how could I be so wrong about him? Who is he?"

You will mourn your broken heart that you know will never, ever be the same again. Not the way it was when you still believed in true love. Not when you used to shout, "No, not all men cheat" while thinking about your faithful husband. Now you'll be thinking, "Mnxim, all men cheat, they just haven't been found out, or they're yet to do it." Everything will be upside down and your default emotion regarding love and honesty will be cynicism. If he could lie, everyone will lie. Nothing is the same, everything is different. He's not who you thought he was. Yet he's the one who held your heart in the grip of his hand before crushing it, squeezing the life out of it till it was wrung out and parched.

Your life will feel like it has ended. And it has. Life as you knew it, will have. From now on, you won't be, "Happily married Anne. You'll be, 'Though I was faithful, he wasn't' Anne.' You will question how you missed it. What else he's done with whom. You will start to wonder if he was really at the meeting he was at. If he's really telling you the truth about others things. Life will really be different.

You will cry daily, hourly. The pain will come unbidden like a wave and it will overwhelm you. Everything you lived for, swept away. On purpose. I think that's what will make it worse. This was done on purpose by a so-called Christian. How could it not cause you to weep in grief and shock?

You will suffer like you've never suffered before and it will be an utterly lonely terrifying feeling as you lose your grip on self-control.

You will feel as if you're in a neverending storm.

It will be hard. You will never be the same again just like he's not the same man you married.

But the storm will end.

After effects? Permanent.

But the storm will end.

If you're at the beginning of the storm, take heart. Please take heart. Maybe the woman in front of you in the shop queue went through the same thing. Maybe she also wept as she chose lentils for supper. But there she is, still standing. Still able to have a coherent phone conversation about mundane things.

Your life will feel like it is over. But it is not. You just have to create a new (albeit jaded and hurt) version of it. And this is where your Christian faith will meet it's toughest battle. Being a woman with grace when your beloved has been ungracious.

Yes, you will feel like a cliche. Like one of those old songs by Mary J Blige. But they sang it because they lived it..and survived it.

It may not feel like it now, but you will survive. You will survive.

And if it feels like you won't,

that's also normal.

After all, there's nothing normal about having your dreams and joys taken away from you by the very one who was meant to build your dreams and double your joys.

Any reaction is normal. Whatever it may be.

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