Monday, August 7, 2017

Outing 'The Other Woman' and Your Anger

Do not let every step of growth in grace disappear because of one man. Not even a man who claimed he was the man of your dreams but dumped you straight into a living nightmare. Do not lose yourself in the mire of grief, he's not worth it.

Cry. Let the bitterness, disappointment, pain out, but the anger... The anger is a dangerous one. And once something is done, it cannot be undone.

It's one thing to shout out the same curses as David did against his enemies, but a whole other thing to vandalise his car. None of my friends have done it but maybe my friends' husbands are safe only because most of them don't own cars! Hmmm. But seriously, if Christ would humbly look upon those who spat on Him, we know what we should do through His strength. Maybe that's why I'm a "Hey, if you want another woman, feel free to go. I will not stand in your way. Let me leave you in peace" type person. The only fight we should have is against our own sense of self, our pride, our sins, not against other humans.

This anger leads to something else. The anger at 'the other woman' that never seems to touch the guilty husband. Some months ago, someone posted something on an online ad group about some woman who works at Mr Price and is known for hunting other women's husbands and had hunted this woman's husband too. She wrote a whole lot of negative things about this floozy, complete with a picture of her.

I asked for a picture of her husband and information about where he works too. The admin eventually took the post down after more of us also spoke up about the double standards.

Ladies, we have to be honest. Our men failed us, they deserve our wrath just as much as the other woman does. That other woman..she failed her husband or her god if she has one. If you want to spread her work details all over the place together with her sordid actions and shame her children, do the same for your husband too, he's guilty too after all. If she's a "skank," so is he. If she has no morals, neither does he. If she's a homewrecker, well so is your husband who has wrecked your home. If she is a "scheming witch," what do you think that makes your own husband who plotted secret meetings and stuff? It's time women accepted that their husbands are grown men with intelligence (of some sort. Not the type of intelligence God requires. ) and therefore willingly chose to either initiate, or follow up, something inappropriate with someone inappropriate. It's just the sad reality that common sense dictates we follow.

I am in a circle of friends, and I was touched by two reactions to a friend who had been betrayed. "You? But you don't deserve this. Why?? What's her number? I want to talk to her?"
And another reaction, "What? No! Does this woman not know who you are, how wonderful you are? Why would she hurt you? Can I have her email address so I can tell her she made a terrible choice?" We can allow our friends to be angry on our behalf. (But let's keep the other woman's details away from our protective friends. Especially as in this specific case, both these women had also been betrayed and knew the pain their friend was undergoing and were therefore VERY angry.)

Who needs angry public posts when you can find supportive friends who want to metaphorically bust some kneecaps to teach that woman a lesson on your behalf? Leave the busting of kneecaps to God. Vengeance is His, He will repay.

Oh, as for outing her husband or boyfriend? I can't say. I say if it were me and I knew him personally, I would tell. He needs to know she's lying to him and possibly exposing him to disease. I can't keep quiet when someone's life is in danger. But if not, I'm not going to hunt him down. Though I know of a case where an angry friend did the hunting down and told the poor man.

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