Saturday, August 5, 2017

Sabbath Thoughts: Hope for Your Hurting Heart

This is for you if you are newly broken hearted. The shock and denial you will feel will make you feel as if you have lost your mind.

But you haven't.

The heaviness off your sorrows will feel as if you are being crushed. But you are not.

The depth of your grief will make you feel as if you are drowning in blackness. But yet you still breathe.

You may feel as if the world has nothing good and beautiful to offer anymore but it does. It does. See it in the blooming flower, in the smiles of your precious children. There is beauty. Your eyes will see it when the veil of perpetual sorrow leaves.

I cannot offer you my word that this will not (is not) happening again. I cannot promise that you'll ever forget. I can't promise you that ten years down the line when he's late your mind won't immediately wonder...

I can promise you that you will survive this hurricane of hurt. It is extreme, unexpected, undeserved, life-changing and will test you, but you will survive. If you are reading this, you are already surviving. One day down the line, you will be able to smile again. You will be able to laugh. Not because time heals all wounds -it doesn't - but because somehow, the storm itself will be over and though you'll have the after effects- the devastation the hurricane wrought-iron  to deal with, the rushing wind, the beating rain, the floods will be over. You walked through the valley of the shadow of death and you made it. You beat those feelings of utter despair.

One day you will realise that you don't have to be her, you don't have to compare yourself with her. Because there were many "hers" before but he chose YOU. You will realise that you were not the cause of your pain and you will stop beating yourself up, punishing yourself for your husband's failures. This is where I disagree with other counselors. Nathan did not go to David's wife to say, "This is what you must work on in order to rebuild." It was all on David. You have nothing to fix because of his choices, he does.

Your heart will keep beating. The hurt will not be at the forefront every moment of every day. You will stop crying. You will be able to walk with confidence again. It will no longer hurt to wake up.

You WILL find moments of joy despite the pain. Cling to them, welcome them. Embrace the happiness. Do not ever let another human steal your joy from you, not even the one who had promised to only multiply them yet instead added to your sorrows.

You are strong.

You will survive the initial onslaught of pain.

And one day, you will discover you never lost the beauty you thought he was missing when he went "a whoring" as the Bible puts it. You will realise the ugliness was in his soul and hers, not in yours.

You are Beautiful. Ask your sisters. Your principled sisters. (More on that topic -principled vs unprincipled sisters.)

You are beautiful.

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