Saturday, September 2, 2017

Sabbath Thoughts: Celebrate Your Singleness

I look back Sabbaths past. It was a time of fellowship. Listen to sermons, presentations, then talk to friends. I never felt incomplete. God and His followers and my sister-friends were enough for me.

So why is it, that we have elevated marriage so much? When did the idea arise that women are not complete unless they are married? When did we start whispering, "Shame, she 40 and she's never been married?" as if somehow her life was less 'full?' When did we decide that God (and His followers) are not enough for other women, that there needs to be a man to bring about a certain level of joy that they are lacking and need?

When did the state of singleness equate to the state of lacking something?

That partner should be an addition, not the cause of. They should add to one's already-present joy, not BE the joy.

Please, celebrate godly singleness. Celebrate your girl friends. Celebrate the ones who are there when you are sick and there when you are healthy. Celebrate the ones who love you just as you are. I've seen the other side now. I've seen what happens when the cause of one's joy, when the one who was the joy, brings sorrow.
I have seen what happens when the one who brought joy brings heartache. And it is ugly.


If we first learn to live for God, we will learn how to live for -and by-ourselves. And when we truly know how to live for God and for ourselves, some of us won't even marry those men. We will realise that instead of adding joy to what is already a joyful life, they are sucking it out and pouring in pain.

Celebrate YOUR singleness. It is better than wiping your tears.

It is better than lamenting three children later, "I wish I had remained single."

I've never believed that 'marriage is  better than singleness,' but I have seen how sometimes marriage is definitely worse than singleness. I have read and heard about experiences and felt things that no daughter of God should ever have to experience at the hand of the one who vowed before her heavenly Father to be her joy-bringer. That celebration heralded a decade of misery.

I wish we could have been brought up to realise that our worth does not lie in how worthy some man out there thinks we are of their sometimes fleeting love. I wish we could have been brought up to see our value in God's eyes. I wish we could have been brought up to celebrate our singleness.

If you're unmarried and reading this. Enjoy it. Enjoy that season in which no-one has power to bring you to the brink of death.

Celebrate your freedom in Christ.

Celebrate your singleness.

(And if you are happily married, celebrate your happiness. Yours is a life to be envied by those whose joy has been marred for ever. A happy, faithful, marriage, is not common. Not anymore. We praise God where one exists. And yes, we celebrate that too.)

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