Imperfect Mom of Two

Thankful Thursday-no bad hair days

2012-02-16T06:01:00.001+02:00

Apologies for the lack of clarity. This is a photograph of a printed picture.

(This picture was taken last year in November…My friend and I were both getting re-baptised. And no, don’t take your minds there, we hadn’t committed adultery. We’d just come to a fuller understanding of what being a Christian really is. Before, for me, we’d been taught that God doesn’t really want a ‘change.’ So you just keep committing the same sins and all will be well as long as you remember to ask for forgiveness. But Rev 14:12- the last book in the Bible, reminds us that those who meet God’s standards are those who “keep the commandments of God.”)

A friend was unable to attend lectures recently..because she had BURNT her hair that morning. I don’t know why she didn’t use a head scarf-maybe didn’t have any-or a wig-I guess wearing weaves doesn’t mean has wigs..

But it made me super grateful that of all the things I complain about-hair in my eyes, hair on my neck frightening me and making me think there’s an insect crawling on me-burnt hair, hair so bad that I can’t go out in public, is not one of them.

The last time I put chemicals in my hair was February 2008. After that, I had braid extensions put in. I also stopped using store-bought creams that contained parabens, SLS etc. I’m thankful that I saw the light and decided to take care of my body-from top to toe-I only have one after all. And I’m grateful that I don’t get to burn my hair nor my scalp anymore!

Janome in the house!

2012-02-13T15:25:00.001+02:00

He did it!

(Needs ironing and a wash but I hadn’t planned on doing anything to it so it would have to do!)

Last week I told hubby’s PA that I really wanted to learn to sew but didn’t have a clue what sewing machine to get, nor what the best would be.

She called her aunt, who’s a seamstress, and told me about the machine available at Pick ‘n Pay Hypermarket.

Yesterday I asked hubby if we could go look at the machine-I know,morbid curiosity because I know if I saw it I’d hanker after it even more-and wonder of wonders, he agreed! Now this is a wonder because dear hubby is a homebody. The closer the mall, the better. His idea of ‘fun’ is staying home and being cooked for by me-which I blame on his business travels and guesthouse stays. On the other hand, for me, the further the better. Someone else cooking, I’m there! So obviously, going to the same shop becomes tiring and boring. And this is not a shop that is nearby. But he agreed to go!

And I found my Janome. I’d never heard of Janome till I started ‘Googling’ sewing machine reviews. I only knew of well-known old Singer and Empisal and Elna. Not only did we go look at it, but we BOUGHT IT! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Setting it up was almost farcical. The last time I touched a sewing machine was about 20 years ago and it was my mom’s vintage Singer Machine. I only knew of bobbins and spools. Now I had to learn about feed dogs and foot levers. Threading it was something else! I took to trusty old Google-no instructional dvd in this pack-which others have complained about online-and muddled around. The children were watching me and had these gems to say.

When my daughter saw me approaching dear 8077 with misgivings, she asked “Are you nervous?”

My son’s reply to my replying in the affirmative was to tell me “Please use the instruction book!”

After watching and hearing me exclaim “What’s the feed dog!" and what do they mean by “make a loop in the bobbin thread with the main thread!” She says to me “Maybe daddy should have bought you a different machine.” and my dear boy says “I think you should try handsewing!”

But all’s well that ends well. Got it threaded and even made myself an amateur satin pillow cover.Didn’t feel like just making a seam for my first practice round. The loc world says it’s best to use silk or satin to avoid lint on locs. I’d bought material long ago-years ago-but had just been wrapping it around my pillows, where it would come undone and my head would end up on the normal pillow case…Till today! Yay!

Thankful Thursday-the thorns..

2012-02-09T06:59:00.001+02:00

are covered with roses. (a line from the book Steps to Christ)

(No, in real life it doesn’t have those white blotches-well, not that I had noticed)

In nature itself are messages of hope and comfort. There are flowers upon the thistles, and the thorns are covered with roses.

"God is love" is written upon every opening bud, upon every spire of springing grass. The lovely birds making the air vocal with their happy songs, the delicately tinted flowers in their perfection perfuming the air, the lofty trees of the forest with their rich foliage of living green -- all testify to the tender, fatherly care of our God and to His desire to make His children happy. {SC 10.1}

What a lovely way to look at it.

As I worked in our flower portion of the garden yesterday, I felt tired. The chiropractor had told me not to do any gardening a few weeks ago. Now I saw why, gardening is quite tiring and takes a toll on one’s back! Ha ha. But one rose bush cheered me up. At first, when we had bought it (and the other) it had quite a few roses on it. Then we had a heatwave and they all disappeared. But to the children’s excitement, this week, another perfect little rose came out.

I’ve been looking at my life this week, thinking about how I wake up with so much energy and the desire to do breakfast, do the dishes, cook, clean everywhere, conduct school…But my back doesn’t allow it. I stand there and after 5 minutes I’m in terrible pain. But thankfully, I have a husband who never expected ‘perfection’ even when I was well. He tells me to go lie down, he tells me not to cook because we can have sandwiches, he tells me he doesn’t care even if the floor is dirty (The joys of cleaning then the children making a mess 5 minutes later) I’ve seen men who think their wives “do nothing the whole day” and therefore have energy at the end of the day when they come home and expect everything to be in order and put in the right place. A friend told us that one husband brought home a box of goods, left it on the floor and said to the wife “You go put it away, I’m tired and you’ve been home the whole day.” Umm..she had a baby to take care of, besides what went into feeding him and ensuring the house was clean!

And so, while life with chronic pain is not what I expected it to be. Though there is so much suffering and poverty among our relatives and friends, these thorns are covered with roses. And the day has many hours. I don’t need to do it all in the first hours of the day. Pacing myself, resting when in pain, getting up and trying again-that’s all that’s required. My family needs me-happy and in peace-not a perfect museum of a home in the first hour of the day.

The Lesbians

2012-02-07T09:34:00.001+02:00

The reason I’m writing about this is because we tend to be tarred with the same brush as these hooligans..

No, not the lesbians.

Those who use so-called ‘corrective rape’ to force them to see the error of their ways and go straight. Or plain murder.

What twisted logic.

This has been happening, specifically among a small group of thugs within the black community. The idea is to beat them and rape them to make them stop being lesbian. As my old friend Dr Phil would ask “How’s that working for you?” Personally, I feel it’s just an excuse to rape. I believe if there weren’t lesbians to rape, there’d be other victims, just as we find cases overseas of fathers imprisoning their own daughters and fathering children with them. The lesbians are just a convenient scapegoat.

BUT

When you read comments underneath these news reports, then guns come blazing against Christians. We are blamed for this vicious phenomenon..Because somehow we’ve forgotten the 6th commandment “Thou shalt not kill," right? These criminals are far from being Christians. And I honestly don’t believe they even know where in the Bible it says that the practices are a sin (Or, an ‘abomination’ as it says)

My appeal is for people to think rationally. Christianity is not the problem. It’s hypocritical, or non-Christians, who use the Bible as a convenient weapon when it suits them. A true Christian will never murder. Never beat. Never rape. Nor will a true Christian condone rape-no matter who the victim is.

Learning From My Son

2012-02-03T15:09:00.001+02:00

The other day, as he sometimes does, he asked me “Mommy, why do you love us so much?” And I thought of Someone else who loves us with an everlasting love. We are as secure in His love as my children are in mine. They thank me when I punish them, they love it when we play together. The question I asked was “How often do we say to God, ‘Abba, why do You love us so much?’”

Then this morning, I heard my son saying to his sister “You are my favourite girl. You’re my favourite.” And her reply, ever so cute was “Aww, thank you my darling.”

Christ showed us how special we were by dying on the cross for us. Every day, His word tells us the same thing. Are our words AND actions, thanking Him? Or are we ignoring His acts of love, spurning His attention and rejecting the One who did all for us?

This week I was thinking about ‘friends.’ So many people have been complaining lately about ‘fake friends’ who are only users. The type that either only gets in touch when they want something, or to talk about their own problems but never to sincerely ask how YOU are. The type that is soooooo busy that they can’t spare 5 seconds to shoot you a text message. Instead of feeling bitter, it saddens me. For me, friendship equals love. And love doesn’t die. The only thing I can do is to direct our attention to THE Friend.The one who loved us so much that He gave up His life for us. And is always there to listen to us. Not only there to listen to us, but actually tells us to talk to Him always. 1 Thess 5:17-

dWhat a Friend He is!

Thankful Thursday-Damaged Goods

2012-02-02T15:54:00.001+02:00

source

I was thinking the other day that dear hubby needs to get some of his money back form my parents. When he bought me (teehee, it’s my culture, I can refer to the paying of the bride price aka lobola as a SALE) he didn’t know how unwell I was. He did have an inkling because in 2001 (Two years before we wed) I did end up in hospital with “NOT grumbling appendicitis” (As previously diagnosed) only for the doctor to tell me AFTER THE OPERATION TO REMOVE MY TOTALLY HEALTHY APPENDIX that all the pain was because I was “full of (insert rude word here) “ Hubby knew I had IBS though at the time, the doctor just told me to go on medication and all would be well. Which it seemed to be.

And we proceeded under the assumption that all was well.

But after many years of pain, we’ve realised that I’m not one of the ‘mild IBS’ members but rather one of the “crippling, excruciating” type members. By the end of the day, I am tired of pretending that all is well, of sucking in the pain that I don’t want the children to notice.

Then you add in the back pain-we won’t mention how many theories there are for THAT-and you come to a wife who’s liable to ask you for a back massage more often than not. I’m not fun. I’m just tired and in pain. Sometimes.

But he’s put up with me and hasn’t asked for a partial refund for the fact that I’m not working as well as I should be. Instead of the body of a brand new Merc, he got a shiny, squeaky clean, new smelling LEMON. A creaky dud.Sometimes. (Let’s not forget the other mechanisms that aren’t in perfect working order)

Or maybe he hasn’t asked for a refund because he enjoys my cooking and he thinks I was a good vessel for his seedlings who are now rambunctious kidlets

But seriously. With all the health issues I have, it’s not been fun all of the time. I’ve had nights when he’s talking to me and I’m just barely hanging on,telling myself “Ok, look interested, the pain will go away soon. Don’t show him how you’re feeling.” But I’m glad I’m going through it with him. Thankful for support, attention and care. Can’t wait for him to be back in the city.

Oh South Africa!

2012-01-30T07:03:00.001+02:00

Why are your sewing machines DOUBLE the price of those in America? Don’t you know that we are poor as it is?

I have wanted to learn to sew for years now and seeing as my Honours degree fell through-I would be done next year but they are only offering my course till the end of this year (THANKS FOR TELLING US IN ADVANCE)-I’m broadening my horizons, as much as is financially possible.

I may do another Honours degree but this one led to the Registered Counsellor qualification..or to Masters later.The others don’t really seem to lead anywhere.

At the moment I’m working on my Nutritional Therapist qualification and am hoping to also study massage-but of course, that depends on when they offer the classes (Once per week) and how much it costs.

More importantly than that, I really really want to get a sewing machine. But new ones are extremely expensive. I wanted one with embroidery options but I’m thinking of lowering my sights and just getting basic. Not that the ones with the best reviews are the cheapest. I’ve spent almost 4 days looking at reviews, seeing if we have distributors here, wondering if someone can bring me a machine from the US, wondering about how heavy it would be (for shipping etc) trying to find prices-why don’t dealers tell us how much their machines are going for?

I need to become a skilled homemaker. I need to be able to sew my own clothes-finding modest clothing especially for children is extremely difficult. In Junior school we did sewing and my hand embroidery was apparently fabulous. I’m thinking of getting a plain sewing machine and maybe doing hand embroidery. It’s not like I’d want much embroidered anyway. But we’ll see the price difference.

So..that’s the goal for 2012. Work on other skills so that if necessary, I can support us financially, and LEARN TO SEW!

DON’T count me in!

2012-01-28T21:14:00.001+02:00

There are some update re-posts going around about selfish mothers-those who go to salons-vs those who gave that up to raise their children.Or something like that.

Stuff like that irritates me to no end. First the whole martyr complex, and then the comparison.

I’m no better than any mother who sends her child to school. We have different goals, circumstances and principles. Stop with the “I’m better cos I sacrificed going to the salon, unlike those other selfish mothers.”

I want no part of that group. I’m just living my life as well as I can. Who cares about comparing myself to others?

Thankful Thursday-Aloe Vera Juice

2012-01-26T06:09:00.001+02:00

SOURCE

No, not the one in my homemade hair spritz.

I’ve read a few times that it helps with IBS symptoms, helps reduce them. The doctor had prescribed some medication that I was meant to take every day, for the rest of my life. Before I even asked, he told me “Use…, it’s natural.”

I guess his idea of natural and mine are totally different because on an unrelated Google search months later, I found that the ‘orange flavouring’ contained ASPARTAME! Threw it away that same day. I don’t want any poison in my system, thank you very much. Even if that poison is trying to get rid of my own ‘poison.’

And so my search for something truly natural began. And sent me to Aloe vera juice. I’ve tried it and it has worked. I seem to be having another flare up-the first of 2012-but it’s not as bad. And I credit the juice. It has kept my symptoms wonderfully at bay and sadly, I was not extremely vigilant about something I ate-Aloe vera doesn’t CURE IBS so I am still stuck with all the fruits, veggies, honey etc that I can’t consume-so here I am. So far only one night of insomnia and pain that doesn’t last forever.

Not perfect, but definitaly good enough!

Are South Africans Dumber?

2012-01-25T06:54:00.001+02:00

Only kidding!

I know we can’t judge a country by it's curriculum. Just wanted a zingy title.

I remember reading a post in which the SA mother stated that the American curriculum is harder than ours. I filed that info away, as I continued with my US curriculum (Rod and Staff)

This morning, because of silly threats, and just a desire to know, I logged onto the SA Department of Basic Education’s website. They have free workbooks there for primary scholars. I wanted to ensure that according to our authorities (Been getting ‘attitude’ about our homeschooling about us NEEDING to have officials coming to assess the children-which is a bald faced lie) my son was on track with his Grade 1 Maths (I know across the pond it’s called Math) and to find South African coin worksheets. Pointless him learning how to add pennies and dollars when we live here.

But as I went through the worksheets, I realised that it was stuff my Kindergarten daughter is doing. So yes, at the moment, it seems the US curriculum is more advanced. Will see at the end of high school what it’s like.

Just a bit of random info for my fellow SA homeschool moms.

PS. I did a search and found an coin generator-addition-worksheet thingamabob so it’s all good anyway. Will print it out and use it to supplement his work.

Chiropractor Update-because you asked

2012-01-24T12:03:00.001+02:00

and keep asking. Thanks for caring.

I don’t know…

I AM trying to rest..in between chores and schoolwork.

And the only cleaning I did yesterday was the floor of the whole house and dishes. And I went to bed feeling fine.

Today’s not so good and I haven’t even finished all the cooking. Scrap that. I’m in so much pain I wish hubby was here. You know that pain that makes you wish for company, though you know they can’t actually do something about it?

Last week was great. I cooked an entire meal ~~of pasta and stir fry~~, ha ha without any pain. On Friday I cleaned without any pain. I guess that’s my life.Ups and downs.

Some say I should get a maid. But as soon as she leaves, the kids would make another mess and I’d have to clean it up anyway. Plus I’m just not comfortable with someone else in my space. I’m territorial like that. Dancing around each other, getting in each others’ way… And I know it’s silly…But the housework is MY duty. Unless I’m not home. And I’ve had three bad experiences when people have come over to clean. Then there’s the money aspect. Why create an extra expense when hubby and I don’t even have personal spending money?

So in the meantime, I try to take it easy, and hope that all will be well. And appreciate the days when I AM pain-free.

And sincerely hope that this is the last post for today

Misery Loves Company

2012-01-24T11:29:00.001+02:00

(I’m only human. I acknowledge that these sentiments might not be ‘Christian.’ And I’m working on getting over fatigue and strain. But I need to be honest. People tend to think I’m some superwoman person who is always bubbling over with happiness and enthusiasm. I’m not.)

Remember my burn out post a while ago? I feel selfish and bad for wishing for time on my own, or at least, only with adults. And I don’t mean the hours I spend during church board meetings. Just 24 hours a ~~week~~ month with no ~~whiny~~ voices arguing with each other, no interruptions, no asking when lunch/supper is going to be, no “Please can we do school” no interruptions (Oh, did I mention that already?)No-one asking me why I’m going to my room, where I’m going, no-one tracking mud and grass on my newly cleaned floor….

But this time it’s a different ‘whine.’ It’s about teaching.

I teach my children. Not only formal, school book stuff. But discipline, answering questions the whole day..

Then come Sabbaths. And I do the same every morning with my kids and the other kids at church. Then once a month I do it in the afternoons too. But it goes further than that because during the week I need to come up with plans for the morning and the afternoon sessions. And this excludes lessons for the women at church etc. If it’s not lesson preparation, it’s giving lessons.

So…When a friend –a teacher during the week-mentioned that teaching on Sabbaths doesn’t make the Sabbath really ‘pleasant’ because it “FEELS LIKE WORK,” I was happy. Misery loves company. I felt validated because for many years-excluding our time in Tanzania-that’s what it feels like-ON MY DOWN DAYS. WHICH THANKFULLY, ARE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN. When I’m particularly tired or sad, I feel like it’s an endless round of teaching and I feel like I need a break.

I looked around for someone suitable to teach the children in the afternoon so at least my job would only be in the mornings, but the person said they didn’t want to miss any of the adult studies that happen because they enjoy them…And I do want to miss them???? I love children, but man, as a stay at home mom, I miss interacting with adults.

That’s the rub. I don’t hate being a stay-at-home mom. I don’t hate interacting with the children. I just wish it was balanced a bit more with the chance to grow and learn from other adults and with less ‘teaching.’

I can’t change,nor do I want to change, my home life. mine nor others’. I can’t change my situation at church. I took on the job for two years, and by jove, I will stick to it. What I can do is change my attitude and pray for strength as we enter “yet another year of teaching children.” The beauty is that I love the children, and they love me. It will work.

So there you see…Another reason why I’m imperfect. I get tired. Frustrated. I am not like the other ladies who are constantly content and joyful. I will get there though

Thankful Thursday-Comparing children

2012-01-19T11:57:00.001+02:00

Yes, I do compare my children..with the child I was at their age.

And I must say that ~~excluding my noisy, high maintenance daughter sometimes~~ they are are doing GREAT compared to me. My son’s like me, loves to read. He’s quiet, thoughtful. A lot like both me and hubby, though hubby is thoughtful and NOT a bookworm.

I love how they only read true books-the Bible and true children’s stories with morals. None of the fairytale nonsense with ‘good’ witches and all. Sorcery is sorcery and we want no part of it unless it’s to point out that God wants no part with it either. The only talking animals they know of are the serpent in Eden and Balaam’s donkey.

The things they say sometimes make me forget that they are so young. A fact which slaps me in the face when they make a terrible mess and I’m meant to be on bedrest. But that’s a post for another day.

This time (Please make it “this YEAR!”) my girl has been ‘ok’ with daddy’s absence. Even though it’s been longer than the last few he took. That’s something else to be thankful for. Yes, she did take long to sleep and caused me to keep going in and out of bed after I’d already settled in with relief. But then so did her brother, and it’s because it’s been so hot so they were struggling to fall asleep. As I was too. When I say she’s been ok, I mean she hasn’t needed to be cuddled, hasn’t wept, hasn’t screamed and thrown a mini-tantrum. She’s just said in passing that she misses him.

Anyway, back to the topic. My children love God. They love to talk about Him, to read about Him, to hear about Him. And my girl-visual-kinesthetic child that she is, really looks forward asking Him to show her “videos” of what we’ve read about in the Bible.

Not only has homeschooling been fun spiritually, but also I get to hear all the silly cute-as all moms think-things they’ve said, the whole day. They’ve told me I make home fun and happy and therefore should be called Esther-which is star in Persian. They’ve stood at my door in the morning, holding hands and ~~shouting~~ singing “I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart.” There’ve been insightful things that they’ve said that I don’t want to bore you with. You know, those typical “Aww, my children are actually more intelligent than I give them credit for” moments that parents have.

And so, while others STILL want to discourage me from continuing to educate them at home and fom using our Christian curriculum, I am confident that we have made the right (and only- for US) choice. I wish the naysayers would finally get it. I’m in this for the long haul.

No More Incredulity.No More Miss Supermodel

2012-01-17T19:39:00.001+02:00

(Disclaimer-all pictures taken by my dear children using a cellphone)

3.5 years of locked freedom!

No, I haven’t dyed the tips of my hair. I’m all natural-including the highlights.

Wow!

They used to call me “Miss Supermodel!” I wore the most sophisticated clothing,or so they claimed, walked as straight as a pin, always had my hair in neat (read “no nappy roots”) styles, always looked fly and cute, or so they claimed.

So it was understandable that dear hubby was incredulous when I asked if he thought it would be ok for me to go natural. Firstly, he’d been trying to ~~preach~~ encourage me to stop ‘cooking’ my hair for ages. And secondly, it seemingly came out of nowhere. Moreover, when I mentioned locing my OWN hair, that was too much for his brain to imagine.

Imagine his chagrin when a few months after I’d started, he came home to find that I’d chopped off the relaxed length and was left with a very short natural ~~mess~~ head of hair that made me want to cry! He was flummoxed, to say the least!

After a few more months, he was still unsure that I was seriously going to stick with it. Miss Supermodel-never-a-hair-out-of-place!? To go all natural? No more salon visits? No more greasy moisturiser? No more shampoos and free head massages by a very chatty not-very-straight-guy? Could it really be real?

And so he told me
“The day the back of your locs reach your shoulders, then I’ll believe that you’re serious.”

Challenge accepted!

So, the process started. And here I am. 3 and a half years later still in love with natural low maintenance hair.

And the super-fly clothing is out the window too!

Bed Rest

2012-01-16T06:35:00.001+02:00

It’s been 6 years of back pain. Usually after I sleep, it’s ok in the morning but last week when I woke up still in pain, I decided we’d just have to find the money somewhere.

I wanted to see a chiropractor but someone in the medical field preferred me to find a physiotherapist…Do you know how hard it was to find a female chiropractor? I don’t know how hubby did it.

I saw her on Friday and my lower back was horribly misaligned and in the wrong position. Remember my coccyx pain from 2010/2011? Yep. That was a sign but because the x-ray showed that the actual bone was fine, I also ignored the pain. I was (My sacral area or something to that effect.) tilted upwards and slightly twisted and therefore squashing some muscle and stuff. The theory is because of the loosening of joints during pregnancy, my small frame and the fact that I had back to back pregnancies, it all became too much and didn’t go back to normal. Plus the normal deliveries played a part.

It was my first chiropractic visit. Had visions of painful manipulations and so when she said I needed an adjustment, my heart sank. But she softened it up with a massage, though she said my shoulders and back show I have the weight on the world on my shoulders and am extremely stressed-which is true.

But it wasn’t sore. Both times.

She put me on bed rest for 72hours. Not so good cos hubby’s not in the country. And I’ll go back today. We’re both hoping today will be the last treatment. And hoping the muscular trigger points will be fine without needing extra treatment too.

Hoping for an end to the torture that has been my back for so many years.

I Will NOT Obey My Husband

2012-01-15T18:53:00.001+02:00

if what he wants violates my principles. More importantly

If what he wants goes against what GOD wants.

God comes first. He made me, He gave me life.

The man is the head..but HIS head is God…And God is both our heads.

We owe our allegiance to God,not to man.

It’s the same principle that says that children ought to obey their parents IN THE LORD. There are times when disobedience is necessary.

The question is:

How do we as wives voice our disagreeing opinions? How do we let our husbands know that we will not feel as they do, or act as they do?

Submission is more than just obeying blindly. It’s about disagreeing in a humble, non-confrontation, non-accusatory way. It’s having the right attitude even while saying a firm “No.” Shouting, screaming, hurling epithets and saying things you’ll regret is NOT how a submissive wives act.

May God help us to say no in a Christlike manner.

(This post was inspired by Raine’s post seen on the right side titled “What if my husband asks me to sin?)

Thankful Thursday-He’s going and no IBS

2012-01-12T06:15:00.001+02:00

Interspersed with some random photos. First photos of the year. Majority were taken at our two day break.

After a power walk.

This year has begun on a good note. I mentioned a low FODMAP diet to my husband. Apparently it has the reputation of reducing 80% or more of people’s IBS flare ups. When he was on holiday, he ‘forced’ me to go on it. I was terrified because some of the foods are things my gastroenterologist had told me not to eat.

How could I not be stress-free?

But the pain, the insomnia, how often my poor children worry, and my love for him ( ) prompted me to obey. And that, together with lots of prayer, no exam stress and aloe vera juice, has resulted in a few good weeks. My only complaint is the chronic backache. It’s marvellous to have energy to work. And I’ve promised myself that when I’m blessed financially, I’m going to search for a female chiropractor and get my back looked at. To wake up in pain just doesn’t cut it.

I love these wildflowers

Anyway, today’s post was to thank God for no IBS attacks! No fatigue, no abdominal pain, no depression etc. WONDERFUL!

Sitting across hubby on his first ride on the ‘new’ Rapid bus

He’s going…The two weeks when hubby was home were wonderful. It’s a bit sad that that’s the ‘longest’ holiday he has but it’s better than nothing! My dad worked for the government and December holidays were longer and that’s what I always grew up assuming would be the case. It was great having hubby around every day. Totally enjoyed every minute. And with him jetting off to Tunisia this weekend,(Most probably, they haven’t sent the ticket yet though they’ve booked him for the entire week) I appreciate the ‘work free’ time he had with us even more. Now if only we could convince him to bring me something back. No idea how he’d communicate at the shops though seeing as he’s not Arabic nor French-speaking!

I love my family!

Homeschool Outside-a small veggie patch

2012-01-10T06:31:00.001+02:00

When you’re renting a place here, you generally can’t really change anything. Inside or outside.

So when we bought this place last year, one of the things I was looking forward to was finally being able to plant some veggies. And now that hubby had a few days of holiday, that finally happened-after he toiled to dig the lawn out and all the stones and cement that were (and still are) hiding underground. Our ~~sand~~ soil is terribly unhealthy, it’s virtually beach sand, so lots of healthy nutritious soil had to be bought.

Watering the lettuce and green pepper plants

We’ve planted various flowers (including the notoriously high maintenance rose)as well as the green beans, onions, spring onions, carrots, tomatoes, a type of rape, spinach, beetroot (aka beets in the US,) lettuce, green pepper and are yet to plant aubergine and sweet melon. (~~I’ve forgotten what those abroad call it.)~~ aka cantaloupe. Of those, I’ll be able to eat the carrots, aubergine and sweet melon-according to the FODMAP diet.

The beauty is that when hubby started the garden, it coincided (providentially?) with the start of their new Bible and Nature lessons-the nature lessons being on “GARDENS AND GARDENING!” So we can now ‘see’ it happening right before our eyes. And actually do it too. Great timing.

Windy…Watering the inions

Thankful Thursday-Normalcy for two days

2012-01-05T12:51:00.001+02:00

Hubby took us away-us and some friends-for two days. It was pure bliss. He cooked, the teens kept the children entertained and the children barely acknowledged I was there, I didn’t do dishes, no cleaning…

It’s not the ‘laziness’ that I’m thankful for.

It’s the fact that for the first time in over a year, I spent two days pain-free. As I realise the enormity of it, I’m crying.

This stupid IBS, the stupid IBS and postpartum induced backache have done a number on me. If it’s not that,it’s women’s problems-from mittelschmerz aka painful ovulation- to other problems.

I was marvelling yesterday at how good I felt. How great it was to just be normal for once.

And today it all came crashing down. But for two idyllic days. I felt like the old, care-free me. And I’m thankful that it’s actually possible.

Thankful Thursday-more napptural sisters

2011-12-29T20:45:00.001+02:00

But before we talk about that…The picture below is of Eliora’s locs. The ‘bump/knot’ there is a bud..I was soooo excited the day I discovered my braidlocks had these buds because now I knew the locing process had well and truly started. You can see the thinner plaited portion..and from the bud to the scalp is the more ‘loc’d’ portion. It’s not as springy and all over her head, there’s a revolution-the hairs are intertwining instead of growing outwards.

A friend of mine has been natural for a while now-well, after we met so I believe I had a part to play in the start of her weave-no-lution. She started her traditional locs at a salon but was NOT enjoying the many visits there nor the visible beeswax they were leaving in there. Plus they did it very tightly.

So I re-tightened her hair. Getting rid of the beeswax buildup was hard to do. Even now there are still white spots even after she herself also tried to get rid of it. And those guys were bad. I know my hair’s uneven, but that’s cos I could care less..and I wasn’t using a mirror when I started my locs. But her parts were all over the place and some you could tell were much bigger than what she wanted. For a salon, that was BAD! Now..the problem with South Africa is that the norm is the tightly plaited,tight on the scalp, cornrowed/basket woven look. So the baby stage in all its latched glory is a hard nut to swallow…Am I getting my metaphors mixed??? The fuzzies..she’s just not feeling them. I’m waiting to see if she’ll be able to withstand the pressure for the more ‘sophisticated’ look.

Then there’s another three ladies as well who’ve asked me to start their locs. We’re all so scattered that to save time, boy is my time precious, I told them to start with twists or whatever,then at re-tightening time, I’d teach them to latch/interlock.

So..what that means for me is that I have hair to do…Which means there are a few more ladies who have embraced the natural revolution. No chemicals, no fake hair.

I remember a reader telling me to charge for my ‘services.’ NO WAY.These are my dearest friends. I’m just thankful that more are willing to take care of their health. From tip to toe.

Take This Cup Away..nevertheless

2011-12-27T10:57:00.001+02:00

Oh boy.It’s been bad. very bad.

And today was worse.

Been having bouts of IBS-induced insomnia but today was the worst. Have been up since 2am. At first it was just insomnia so I ended up getting up and studying.

Then at around 4ish,the pain came. Excruciating, make me gasp and cry pain. Then nausea followed. The type that also makes you cry.

So..

I’ve done a lot of crying today and it’s 10:51am.

I’m about to try ginger to see if that will help with the nausea. The pain has subsided, it’s a dull ache but I’m scared. I tried to eat a potato chip at about 8am and the pain was intense. I’m hungry but the fear of what could happen inside is not exactly making me eager.

There are times I feel guilty for asking God to take it away. I’ve been praying for over 11 years, I should be used to it by now.NOT. But then..Jesus never sinned yet He asked for the cup of suffering to be removed from Him. Ok,my agony (weakness, pain zinging through my body and limbs too) is not even half as bad as His was, but you get where I’m going.

His loving Father never faulted Him for shrinking from the torture. And more importantly, the Son didn’t complain when the clear answer was “No.” Instead He accepted His Father’s will.

I accept it. I accept that I cannot eat what I cook for my family.

I accept that I cannot eat a slice of bread.

I accept that pain will be with me till He comes.

And I accept that no matter what, He is still the same loving God.

I am grateful that He has given me a loving, caring husband who’s on leave at the moment. I’d big plans of cooking for them but only made the savoury rice before I ~~died~~ this broke loose.

I will be ok. Now, tomorrow, in two years’ time.

Until then

Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine. Amen.

Thankful Thursday-GOD

2011-12-22T05:51:00.001+02:00

Without Him, and without faith IN Him, I would not be who I am. I owe my all to Him and how can I now praise Him for all He has done, and for all I know He will do?

(standing on ostrich eggs)

I thank Him for the temporal gifts he gives, I thank Him for feeding and clothing us. I thank Him for my family, I thank Him for my friends. I thank Him for my life, I thank Him even for my trials. I thank Him for sustaining strength that sees me through those trials.

(Play date-waiting for some Ostrich Ranch fun to begin)

Everything I am, everything I have I owe to Him. If I listed it all, if I listed all the blessings, from birth-when my mother was turned away from the hospital because they didn’t believe she was in labour – to today, I’d have too much to write.

And so I just say

THANK YOU, LORD. I AM NOT WORTHY

(Allegedly-according to the Guiness Book of World Records-the smallest ostrich in the world)

Pharisaism and Headcovering

2011-12-20T06:17:00.001+02:00

Matt 5:20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

And that, simply put, is one of the reasons I cover my head. I want to enter into the kingdom of heaven. Well, not only do I believe the Bible does want it of me. But even though others have come up with arguments (that I can counter argue) I’d rather err on the side of being ‘too’ right, than run the risk of God saying “But you knew the scripture, why did you ignore it?” What would I say?

On the other hand, God would never condemn me for doing it. He would not send me to eternal destruction because I took his scriptures literally and applied them in my own life.

Like attracts like, and I was really encouraged to see other covered sisters at a Bible Conference I attended from Thursday night till Sunday night. (No, I did come home every evening!)

The Bible is simple-except for the symbolic aspects which require some demystifying for some. And I am encouraged by those who’d rather choose to simply follow-even if there may be a small chance it’s unnecessary-than to ignore and run a terrible risk.

The pharisees were exacting in what they felt people needed to ‘do’ in order to be saved. They were particular to the minutest detail. God is exact, why else would the Bible be filled with do’s and don’ts? He wants us to know exactly how to meet Him and spend eternity with Him. Now, our righteousness needs to EXCEED that of the pharisees? Why? Because they were not led by correct motives. They were (generally) selfish. They wanted to show off their deeds. They performed their deeds to win their way to heaven.

On the other hand, we perform our deeds because of the love of the One IN heaven. We are grateful for all He has done and automatically, we obey because of it. We study His word and want to carry out every minute command. It’s no burden to us, unlike the burdens the pharisees placed upon the people. We will never tell anyone else to cover. We will not teach that salvation lies in covering. But we will cover, because we believe it is what God requires of us. It’s a small gift to give the One who gave HIMSELF.

We may be in the minority, but let’s encourage each other. Press together and keep on growing together in grace.

Thank you,my fellow covered sisters.

Learning from Isaac:Arranged Marriages

2011-12-13T10:13:00.001+02:00

Arranged marriages. Such a supposedly old-fashioned concept. But for Christians, old-fashioned doesn’t necessarily mean ‘not to be done,’ does it?

IMAGE

I’ve seen a terrible example of an arranged marriage that has completely fallen apart. But I can honestly say that’s because one VITAL ingredient was missing. You know Who I’m talking about.

Fathers and mothers should feel that a duty devolves upon them to guide the affections of the youth, that they may be placed upon those who will be suitable companions. They should feel it a duty, by their own teaching and example, with the assisting grace of God, to so mold the character of the children from their earliest years that they will be pure and noble and will be attracted to the good and true. Like attracts like; like appreciates like. Let the love for truth and purity and goodness be early implanted in the soul, and the youth will seek the society of those who possess these characteristics. {AH 74.1}

When both parties are completely yielded to Christ. When both enter the marriage willingly, it has worked. When the husband is willing to be the head of the home in a Christlike manner-being humble, being godly, when the wife has entered it willing to respect him and to defer to his judgment when compromising of principle is not required, it yields a wonderful union.

Of course, I’m not going to arrange my children’s marriage unless they ask me to. (I’m seriously hoping that by that time we’ll be in heaven…) But like the quote above states, when we teach our children from their EARLIEST years to be pure and noble, they will (by His grace) only seek those values in their intended spouse. My example should lead them to seek only those who love Christ with the whole heart.

I pray that as I lead my children, I will guide them to love and be attracted to the good.

Random Photos

2011-12-12T06:21:00.001+02:00

Me,dear friend, sister-in-Christ, Mother-in-law,sister-in-Christ

Daughter,maternal granny,paternal granny,son

The World Will Never be United

2011-12-12T05:52:00.001+02:00

fully.

I’m studying the book Revelation again, so every now and again I may share some snippets of things I’m reminded of. I don’t know what took me to this thought, but maybe it was the news (The whole Eorozone thing etc) and the book of Daniel and Revelation are linked so I’ll write about it anyway.

I look at the British PM’s vote, I look at how different countries are trying to assert their economic strength and see the fulfillment of Dan 2:33. The iron and the clay just cannot become one and soon the end will come. They will try as hard as they can, they will make similar laws but ultimately, the only kingdom that will rule over anything will never be Rome, nor Greece..but the heavenly one.

And I cannot wait.

Glutton for Punishment

2011-12-08T21:44:00.001+02:00

SOURCE

SDA’s will recognise the phrase ‘entering wedge.’ I am starting on a course to becoming a nutritional therapist. I believe this will help me become a more effective urban missionary. People are into wellness big time.

I’m also supplementing this Honours degree ( I PASSED ALL MY MODULES for this year!YIPPEEE!)by doing a short Cognitive Behavioural Therapy course. My Psychology course is more general than I’d have liked. (Putting family first and letting go of the traditional Counsellor route) so at least studying this will improve my therapy skills. I’ve been working on assignments for both these courses while waiting for my results to come in and my final year of University of South Africa torture to begin.

It was already heavy going last year, but I know that in our cosmopolitan society,paper means everything. So I want to add a ‘qualification’ to make the message more credible and also for my family’s sake. I’d like to know more about healing using herbs, healing using nutrition, controlling fatigue etc. I like my Natural Remedy Encyclopedia, but learning to prepare and store my own herbs would be a huge benefit. Which is where the nutritional therapist qualification comes in. As well as a HUGE dose of faith. At least these non-UNISA courses aren’t time-constrained. I can hand in assignments whenever I want,exams are whenever I’m done, so I can focus on other things when necessary.

If I can juggle all of this,then I’ll be happy. Health and counselling have been my desire for more than a decade. I may not be doing it the way I thought I would. But at least I’m getting there. Thanks to a very supportive husband.m

Stop with the emails!

2011-12-08T04:56:00.001+02:00

There’s a huge push to put Christ back into December 25 aka christmas.

Was He ever truly in it to begin with?

‘nuff said.

Day 1:Elimination Diet (kinda boring)

2011-12-06T09:20:00.001+02:00

Ever since I became vegan, I’ve been taking a vitamin supplement…Just in case. I wasn’t very regular with them until I was diagnosed with IBS and had to get rid of various fruits and veggies from my diet.

Now…

The gastroenterologist gave me a list of foods to avoid without ever testing to see if I’m intolerant to them-IBS is not the same for everyone.

So…

Enter my elimination diet.

I’d go to a Dr and get tested but the tests are expensive, and honestly, if I had the cash in my hand, I’d rather take myself away for a break

So my next best option is the more arduous elimination diet. Plus anyway, sometimes because the body reacts slowly to what it’s intolerant of, these tests sometimes give false negatives.

The guide I found says to stay on it for 3 weeks before adding in one food, then waiting 2 days to see if the body reacts-I’m aware that there are many ways of doing it. Now I researched the most nutritious veggies to see which ones I should stick to but the ones on the top of the list-green leafy veggies are the most likely to trigger IBS symptoms so I’ll leave those for last.

What will I be surviving on at first?

Sweet potato and pumpkin. And rice milk. I’m stating with those because I’m desperate. Even when I eat ‘safe’ foods and only 3 or so different veggies, I get sick. I’m tired of it. So I’m starting with what I’m pretty sure is benign and taking it from there.

Wish me well. I know it’s not as arduous as fasting for 40days, but it’s still not exactly easy. I guess it’s time to get a hold of my appetite. GULP

PS I’m thinking that as soon as I’ve been symptom-free for a while,I’ll add something, instead of waiting a whole three weeks…

When I Laugh

2011-12-05T06:14:00.001+02:00

Just two short anecdotes that highlight my love for homeschooling my children. I found it particularly poignant because I’ve had people from abroad –one last week, one this morning-tell me that they wish they could homeschool their children but it’s not legal where they are. One mother did spend time at home with her children until they reached school-going age.

Yesterday I drank a glass of cold water and because it was so hot, I decided to drop some water on the children’s head. They both laughed and my daughter said “It’s like you’re making us king and queen.” So I said “Oh,like I’m anointing you?” and she said “thou anointest our heads.” After I laughed she said “But at least your cup didn’t run over.” (In case you missed it, that was from Ps 23)

Later on,during family worship, hubby asked them why they love God. My son said “Because He hath heard my voice and my supplication.” (Ref from Ps 116:1) and his sister’s reply was “Because He first loved me.” (Ref-1 John4:19) We all knew they were being ‘sneaky’ because they had these huge ~~smirks~~ grins on their faces. They beat us at our own game.

Why I was baptised, not sprinkled

2011-12-02T20:36:00.001+02:00

SOURCE

Acts 8:36-38 And as they went on their way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, here is water; what doth hinder me to be baptized?And Philip said, If thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest. And he answered and said, I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.And he commanded the chariot to stand still: and they went down both into the water, both Philip and the eunuch; and he baptized him.

Matt 3:16 And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him:

Rom 6:4 Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

Thankful Thursday-one result out so far

2011-12-01T06:03:00.001+02:00

and I made it.

You have no idea how relieved I am. It’s one of those subjects (Research Methodology) they told us to start with because it’s difficult to pass so at least we’d have more time to repeat it. And boy was it! 20% for my first assignment, 36% for my second, 50% for my third and 51% for my mock exam. Was thinking “Wow, if I even make 50% I’ll still flunk because my year mark will bring me down.” And worse yet was that it was so subjective that we had no idea HOW to improve it. The fear wasn’t repeating it next year (There are no supplementary exams for Honours) but that I’d repeat the same errors because I had no clue what they wanted us to say!

My only solace was that most of us were in the same boat.

SO my relief isn’t that I passed, but that I won’t need to do it again. Whew!

At least I can improve on the others-IF I fail them!

What’s with the competition?

2011-11-30T05:36:00.001+02:00

Image SOURCE

This is something I see quite often. It takes various forms and it irks me to no end.

Men asking each other what cars they drive, which neighbourhood they live in. Parents claiming they’re sending their child to the ‘best’ possible school so they don’t end up messed up like the children at school X. Totally forgetting that some of their poorer friends have children at school x.

Or women competing about designer clothes, bought not only for themselves but for their children too.

Or the women who seem to take a kick out of pointing other’s perceived physical flaws with a sense of superiority. Flaws that the poor ‘victim’ is unable to change.

And even in the world of SAHMotherood, it’s there too. You’ll find a person complaining that they’re tired. And a SAHM will immediately chime in with “You think you’re tired? Wait till you have a child!” I might have mentioned this before, but I hate this type of comment. If someone is tired, they are tired. Period.

Another one is, “Oh, you think you’re tired? You only have one child. I have three and one has XYZ Disorder and my husband has left me for the local town wench so I’m on duty all by myself. At least your husband does return every now and then.You should be thankful that you at least do see him on 36 days of the year.” (Yes, I have a friend who once only saw her husband on 36 days of the year.)

Rather than invalidating each other’s personal, subjective experiences, let us support and encourage. Rather than competing to see who has it the best/worst, why not lift those who need uplifting and rejoice with those who are doing well?

LET BROTHERLY LOVE CONTINUE. Heb 13:1

Thankful Thursday-a BELIEVING husband

2011-11-24T06:30:00.001+02:00

It’s one thing to have a husband. It’s another thing to have a husband who shares the same principles as you do.

When I met him, I loved Jesus, I just didn’t realise how to show it to Him.(John 14:15 “If ye love me, keep my commandments.) It took hubby’s sharing the truths he knew, letting me read his books by Ellen White, that I realised how wonderful God really is. He really set me on the way to modesty, biblical home management etc.

Now that we’ve been married for these years, now that I see what goes on in homes where the spouses are different, I can appreciate our united foundation even more. Some friends struggle, but gain the victory. Others…End up find it challenging to even see the good because the bad so heavily outweighs the good. If my husband wanted me to worship (dead) ancestors and to cook meat for them, it would lead to a lot of resentment on my Christian heart, as an example.

So today, I thank God for His wisdom in choosing a spouse. Thankfully I don’t have to deal with a Hosea situation. (Poor man)

Black Tuesday in South Africa

2011-11-22T15:35:00.001+02:00

Picture taken by my son so excuse the lack of clarity

We were asked to wear black in protest. They-MPs- were (did) voting in a colloquially named ‘secrecy bill’ today at 2pm. For those who don’t know, in a nutshell, it means that the government can do what they want and no journalist who values freedom would be allowed to access documents about it or report it. Any governmental whistle-blower would be ~~persecuted~~ prosecuted. What does the government have to hide?

Constitutional Court..please tell us you will save us from the death of freedom of speech.

Someone posted this "A critical, independent and investigative press is the lifeblood of any democracy. The press must be free from state interference. It must have the economic strength to stand up to the blandishments of government officials. It must have sufficient independence from vested interests to be bold and inquiring without fear or favour. It must enjoy the protection of the constitution, so that it can protect our rights as citizens" (Nelson Mandela, 1994

PS. I know..the floodgates have opened. More than one post today. There’s too much to say and as I’ve said before, this blog is my (online) diary.

I am angry.Don’t read if you want ‘sunshine.’

2011-11-22T06:40:00.001+02:00

I keep mentioning the ‘sunshine’ because someone once commented that there are good things to talk about and intimated that I only focus on the negative.(I guess they don’t read my Thankful Thursday posts.)

Image source

Yesterday, my friend lost her planned first baby. Her husband is a hardworking man who,though not rich, would have done all he could to nurture his wife and child. She had to undergo a vacuum extraction of the fetus while awake I’m imagining knowing that this was my dream, my hope and now with every movement, every sound, it’s being ripped out of me. With cold, callous physicians who told her “Here it is. Had you bled?” when showing her the fetus. Then gave her pain tablets and sent her home.

And now I read that a pregnant woman had two children (2 and 6) and two young sisters-age 9 and 7 under her care. She was so hungry that she went off looking for food in the morning, on foot. 18 kilometres away from home. Google how to convert that into miles. They had ‘borrowed’ maizemeal to make porridge from a neighbour, and it had run out that morning. The children-who she claims had been left in the care of her 15yr old brother- were so hungry that when she didn’t return (soon enough for their young minds) they went off to look for food and for the pregnant mum/sister. Two of the younger children were found dead and emaciated 3 days later. It took 2 weeks of searching to find the other two older children in the same dehydrated and starved state, closer to their destination,which is reportedly where the mother had gone to look for food. She had woken up and left by 7am, in order to be back by nightfall. Her mother had a boyfriend on a farm who she was visiting that day, so she had gone there to ask for food.

These people live in a poor community. Poverty didn’t just happen overnight. It wasn’t a sudden thing when one day your husband has a job and you’re living in a brick house then suddenly he loses his job and can’t find another one.

This is horrendous. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. As a woman, WHY have children if you can’t take care of them? She’s pregnant again. How will she feed this one? And where are the fathers of these children? Intercourse comes with consequences. If you can’t handle them, don’t do it. No need to talk about the chastity before marriage angle-they don’t say whether this woman was married or not.

South Africa isn’t exactly a rich country, but we’re not Somalia. NO CHILD SHOULD BE DYING OF HUNGER. I can’t imagine how desperate those poor children were. Nor how desperate the mother was. Walking 18km isn’t something you do for fun. She must be heartbroken. Yes, it was not exactly clever to bring children into a world of suffering, but she loved them. She hadn’t abandoned them, She was going to look for food for them, though I’m sure to the children, it felt like abandonment. I don’t know if it’s ignorance or what, but the choice to have children under such circumstances was faulty. I hope they’ll give her more guidance so that the unborn baby-I hope s/he’ll be born healthy considering the mother’s lack of good nutrition-won’t ever starve like his/her brother and sister and aunt and uncle.

We have child grants. I wonder if this woman didn’t know about it. Was the money not enough?

Two mothers, needing comfort. One with a supportive husband. One who seemed to have been on her own, going to her mother, 18km away, for help. At the end of the day, that’s what these two stories are about. two grieving women. I just wish men would play their part.Children have no choice. Who will speak up for the children?

So many Christians aren’t ready for Jesus to return. But I am. It’s the only way there’ll be no more suffering. The signs of prophecy show that it’s nearer than ever, and I am glad. All we need is the one world financial system that the Pope and some governments have been screaming for, then for the proclamation of the Sunday law..and then I’ll know that my ‘redemption draweth nigh.’

NOT a first born baby

2011-11-21T21:16:00.001+02:00

She was so excited about falling pregnant. I was the second-after her husband-to find out that she was expecting.

And I also found out they’d told her she had a threatened miscarriage.

But it was not only just a threat. So she found out today when she went back to hospital today.

I only post this because I’d posted something about it on here-now deleted.

I WILL try to post something ‘sunshiney..’ At some point.

SAHM (or Homeschooling) Burnout

2011-11-16T20:19:00.001+02:00

I know the cure, I just can’t do anything about it. My only solace is that other SAHM have gone (are going) through it-judging from the ‘googling’ I’ve done. It feels like I’m sinking into the same PND ( or PPD-postpartum depression) rut that I went through for 2 1/2 years and I don’t want to go there.

I am grateful for what I have.

I don’t regret doing what I do.

I don’t want to stop doing it.

But

I’m tired. So tired I ended up crying today. There are some things they never warned you about, particularly when it comes to having young children who are old enough to make a mess where I just cleaned, but young enough to make an even bigger mess when cleaning up their mess. Old enough to require a varied diet, but too young to cook. Old enough to need adult-sized bedding but too young to iron it. And on and on.

The evenings and early mornings are filled with preparation for school lessons, church lessons-for adults and children…

Then there’s the old IBS with its own symptoms, with its own challenges-resulting in my cooking food I can’t even eat…Etc. Not sure if I’m dealing with burnout or IBS-related fatigue. Either way, I wish I could break the monotony of my journey, get off the train for a few hours, see some new scenery before getting back on.

Just wanted to explain my silence. (This, and a very sad event that I don’t want to blog about. Those who’ve been reading know that others’ sorrows touch me to the core. I can’t just switch off.)

I’ll return when I have something sunshiny to say. In the meantime, keep the faith and be well. Lots of love and thanks for your patience…

PS. Yes, I’m still waiting for my exam results. And maybe that’s also a contributing factor. If I have failed two subjects I’m not continuing. I need a break. But if I do at least pass two…The struggle will continue.

Thankful Thursday

2011-11-03T17:27:00.001+02:00

I have not caught the flu this year. I usually get one or two attacks of a cold and one of the flu (combined with asthma) each year and last year when I was told to go off various veggies and FRUITS I feared that I would get sick.

But I haven’t. Even though the rest of the family have had to deal with it.

Maybe God knew that dealing with a vitamin ‘deficiency’ on top of IBS symptoms would push me over the edge. Or maybe He was just kind to me.

Either way, I’m thankful.

Dear ‘Unreal’ Women

2011-11-02T05:54:00.001+02:00

Saw an advert for “plus-sized lingerie for the real woman.”

I beg to differ.

In my opinion, you are REAL. Visible ‘fat’ or not. I find it interesting how when pictures of a celebrity with cellulite come up, bloggers say “See, celebrities are real!” What about the celebrities –and non- who don’t have cellulite? Is having cellulite more real than not having it?

A better phrasing would be “See,not all celebrities look like the versions you see on the covers of your magazines.” It’s sad how this (real women have curves) concept has metamorphosised from the desire to show that the airbrushed version isn’t the real one, to attacks on real body forms. We’re all real. Period.

I may not be ‘plus-sized’ –don’t like that phrase either but that’s another story-but I know that I’ve got enough to qualify me to join the ranks of the ‘real’ women. But D cups and alleged child-bearing hips don’t a real woman make. And I’m quite uncomfortable with that description. I’m not a real woman, just a woman.

I’m sorry that some men say “I want a real woman, thick with big boobs and hips.”

I believe you’re real too. The only woman I would categorise as unreal is the male who dresses up for fun in a nun’s costume for some function. THEN I’d point out to you that “that’s not a real woman.”

I’m sorry that there are some of you who are naturally thin and get teased or hounded for something you can’t change. I’m sorry that ‘skinny’ apparently equates to not being real.I am sad that some of my slender sisters have been told to “eat more so you can look like a real woman.” I’ve had the “You don’t look like a real mother so you must eat more” version of that comment thrown at me.

It’s never been my style to make myself feel better by putting others down.

All women have curves, some are just not as pronounced as others!

All women, all shapes and sizes are real!

And for a more biblical perspective on being a real woman, I include parts of a poem from chastitycall

A Real Woman...
Believes in God
Has high moral standards
Is prayerful and strong
Wants to do God's will.

A Real Woman…

Recognizes goodness
Delights in truth and beauty
Respects herself and other people
Stands up for what is right
Gives compliments and praise
Is concerned about others
Knows how to listen and be a friend.

A Real Woman...
Unselfish, thoughtful and kind
Honest, faithful and trustworthy
Patient, sincere and forgiving
Modest, pure and chaste
Compassionate, caring and giving
Understanding, humble and secure.

A Real Woman...
Understands chastity
Values her sexuality
Appreciates her fertility
Controls her passions and desires
Knows her body is a temple of
the Holy Spirit
Never uses other people.

A Real Woman...
Nurtures her family
Is the heart of her home
Finds Strength in her husband
Understands sacrificial love
Is happy and content.

A Real Woman...
Knows, loves and serves God, and
strives to accomplish his plan for her life.

Missing Teeth

2011-10-31T07:07:00.001+02:00

I’m not one to show pictures of gums so I won’t be posting any!

Last week while playing with his sister and hubby’s PA (I was writing an exam) my dear son was hit in the mouth with a ball. And out tumbled his top front tooth. Don’t worry, it was already loose and he says it was pain free. the irony is that that very morning I’d asked if he wanted me to pull it out and he said no.

So now he only had one loose tooth left.

Yesterday morning he came to our room, knocked on the door and asked if he could tell me something. He came in and showed me something in his hand “Mommy, in the night I pulled my loose tooth out even though it was a bit sore!” I could never do that! I was petrified even when my dad offered to do it. I’d fiddle with it,try a bit but as soon as I felt a bit of resistance, I’d stop there.

Reminds me of the scriptures about how if our eye offends us, we should pluck it out. The tooth really bothered my son so he ended up getting rid of it. If only we could just as easily get rid of the sins, or temptations. Just pluck them out. And like me when I was young, we have our Father’s promise that He’ll help us.

Thankful Thursday

2011-10-27T14:41:00.001+02:00

My children.

Amazing how I learn a lot through teaching them. And how they teach me a lot too.

Reformation Day-the irony

2011-10-26T05:21:00.001+02:00

SOURCE:CCEL

I don’t mean to offend anyone, but because I’ve received quite a few notifications and emails about this, I will speak my mind. That’s what blogs are for, right?

We all agree that Jesus kept the Sabbath. We all agree that He said he came to fulfil the law, not to do away with it, right? We all agree that the Cross got rid of the CEREMONIAL law, not the ten commandments, right? After all, the ceremonial laws pointed to Christ’s sacrifice and now that He had been sacrificed, there was no need for them anymore.

So..What does this have to do with Reformation Day?

I’ve been getting emails about October 31, the day Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses to the door of the church. Martin Luther was a great Protestant reformer who I admire a lot and am thankful for. But it doesn’t mean he had ALL light and knowledge. Part of Reformation includes reforming those practices which the Catholic Church came up with that are unbiblical.

And this is where the Reformation Society fails to continue the work of Reformation. Jesus kept the holy Sabbath that was instituted at Creation. Nowhere did He ever give an instruction to change any part of the commandments. People met on different days to have prayer meetings, but the Sabbath was still God’s Rest Day even after His ascension. Martin Luther worked to free the people from the tyranny of the erroneous practices that the Catholic Church had brought.

I’ve always heard that the catechism makes it clear which day God’s Sabbath is. For me, that was never an issue because I take my beliefs from the Bible. But in light of the ‘Protestant Reformation’ I Googled the catechism and found this (emphasis mine)

"2171 God entrusted the sabbath to Israel to keep as a sign of the irrevocable covenant.95 The sabbath is for the Lord, holy and set apart for the praise of God, his work of creation, and his saving actions on behalf of Israel."
2174 Jesus rose from the dead "on the first day of the week."104 Because it is the "first day," the day of Christ's Resurrection recalls the first creation. Because it is the "eighth day" FOLLOWING the sabbath,105 it symbolizes the new creation ushered in by Christ's Resurrection. For Christians it has become the first of all days, the first of all feasts, the Lord's Day (he kuriake hemera, dies dominica) Sunday:
We all gather on the day of the sun, for it is the first day [after the Jewish sabbath, but also the first day] when God, separating matter from darkness, made the world; and on this same day Jesus Christ our Savior rose from the dead."

This is why it is difficult for me to be as excited about all the plans the Reformation Society is making for Monday. ‘Nuff said.

“Please co-wash my hair!”

2011-10-25T14:59:00.001+02:00

said my daughter this morning. Sadly, I’m not going to do that until her locs have matured. The first picture was taken in June and the one below it is from today. It ahs shrunk from being washed. I used natural shampoo and let it air-dry. As you can see, they’ve puffed up since then and the gaps have filled in. She’s also due for a retightening session, which she’s looking forward to because then she gets to watch more than two nature programmes in one session, LOL.

Messages from My 6yr old Son

2011-10-24T05:23:00.001+02:00

Just a few snippets of the messages he sends me. We put him on Skype (he uses my mom’s old laptop) so that he could chat with his dad when he’s away.

His ‘mood updates’ range from “happy happy” to “giggling” to the current one “Loving my mom and dad and my sister”

I look at the way both my children are, the things they say to me, the love they show, the information they know and can never regret the lack of time alone, lack od ‘study leave’ in the midst of exams, lack of rest in times of illness. I enjoy teaching them and I can’t wait for my studies to be over so I can focus more on it the older they get.

These are more snippets that make me smile. (No editing so the spelling you see is his)

“I love you because I care about you.”

“I can not find my sock”

“Hi but something is sad, I want to eat. Can I have the pasta?”

“MOMMY I LOVE YOU AND I WOUD WANT TO BE IN HEAVEN WITH YOU AND I WONT BE SICK THANK YOU MOMMY FOR CARING FOR ME I LOVE YOU ALOT”

“Ha ha,I wrote to daddy to call me and he did.” In answer to my question asking what they spoke about, he said “Nothing much just to say hi and to make sure he’s alive.”

My latest and most favourite is the one my husband sent me. He found Bk typing something in MS Word and when he asked what he was doing he said he was writing a song. Note, it’s an unfinished product because he was interrupted before he was done. Here it is

“jesus loves us we know he dose
he is good to
us but we love
our moms and dads
less than jesus
loves us
don't we?
and we
want to be
in heaven
with our mom and dad. do we?
yes we do.
it is-
song time
jesus”

My daughter has been doing a bit better with her dad’s absences. but when he’s around, she’s clingy and super loving to him. Last week she told him that he mustn’t go away again. *sigh* Oh, and she keeps telling me to go away and leave the three of them here. I wish I could. With your 5yr old telling you to go away on your own, wouldn’t you also want to take up the offer of some ‘me-time’ LOL.

Time to go. I have a Psychopathology exam today. BYE!

They Came!

2011-10-23T10:39:00.001+02:00

Two Sabbaths ago, it was Children’s Ministries’ day. I’ve always had a burden regarding the fact that children need to know that they have a double purpose, to live right, and to share the gospel with others.

So my plan was for us to reach the homeless/hungry-looking. You can walk past someone who isn’t lying under a bridge and know that they need food. We asked the rest of the members to help us by collecting tangerines and apples – would have loved to have gone bigger, but I know our resources or lack thereof-and the response was great.

In the afternoon we all went out in groups and handed them out together with books and DVD’s for those who looked like they had somewhere to watch DVDs. We ran out of stuff way before the demand did, so that was great.

The friend I was with asked which direction we should take so I proposed one. As we were walking along, we passed by two caucasian males who looked like they could be homeless and I had one last bag of fruit to give to them. They were very grateful, and because the one had a thick novel with him, I offered him a book as well, which he took. We walked off and then I turned back to invite them to church-we have lunch together so they could at least be assured of one healthy meal per week.

They came.

What touched me the most was that one of them even gave offering-offering from someone who can’t even afford to stay in a shelter and a bed in a shelter costs R10! The younger male has an interview on Tuesday. I really hope something comes up for them. The sad thing was that they were telling the class (they were in hubby’s class) that people chase them away when they ask for bread. Now I need to mention that these are not your typical SA ‘bergies.’ These are respectable looking WHITE men. White homeless people are rare in this newly-democratic country of ours, so you’d think that people would have more mercy on them. I have read that people get tired/desensitized when it comes to the norm. Plus they don’t look like they smoke, get high or drink. The one man is quite elderly So it’s doubly sad that they get that kind of response when asking for bread I’m the type who’d give any type of homeless person food. And these men made my heart break. They look like they are willing to work, the one lost it all after the building he was caretaker of, was razed to make space for a parking lot for the World Cup. Apparently the book I gave has already been read twice.

They had all their belongings in plastic bags, I think there were two normal-sized bags. *sigh* They got some extra resources which I won’t talk about…

I don’t know about other churches, but I know that in all the churches I’ve attended, no concerted effort has ever been made to reach out to the homeless. Yes, we don’t have places for them all to stay in- we have our own levels of poverty as it is- we don’t have jobs to offer, no blankets, people could just be spinning stories and could be criminals, but that kind word, the prayer offered, the invitation for a meal..these all mean something. And I pray that the seed that was planted will give them faith and hope. In this world, sin has brought about poverty and suffering. but when Jesus comes,it will all end.

What’s in a name? Housewife vs SAHM

2011-10-21T06:34:00.001+02:00

This is in response to this news article from IOL.

It’s titled “Don’t call me a housewife.”

Some forms came in recently. I’d told the lady that I homeschool the children and these forms came back after her visit and I was down as a home executive with 50% managerial and administrative duties, and 50% supervisory duties. Ha ha ha! No offence, but the title ‘home executive’ sounds pretentious to me and I’ll never use it.

Here’s my take. I don’t like using the ‘housewife’ term to describe my CURRENT role. I associate it with a woman at home with no children to deal with (until the child returns from school if one has a young child). I admit that this is based on a stereotype, but homeschooling in my country is very new and very small, and that’s what comes to 99% of the people’s minds. People send their children to school and housewives stay home, do the housework-if they don’t have a maid, do the cooking, ironing etc.

But homeschooling your children –especially the younger children-adds another dimension to it. Housework is tiring no matter who you are, whether there’s a child in the house or not. Coming up with ways to be frugal needs to be done either way, thinking up healthy menus etc is done by both groups.

But when you do have children, trying to divide your time between the housework and the children is more ‘trying’ than being able to clean when you want to-barring long phonecalls when you’re in the middle of a cleaning frenzy. I stayed home without the children a few months ago(as in on one or two afternoons)and being able to finish all the cleaning in one go was weird. The freedom of not having to split up my time between giving them chores, supervising said chore, doing my own chore, giving them food/drinks, mopping up the mess from the food/drink, teaching while conscious that the laundry is waiting for me.When people don’t need to spend time coming up with activities, lessons, ways to make those lessons interesting…It’s different. And in MY society, housewives are wives who are at home while the children are at school.

I actually prefer to describe myself as a homeschooling SAHM because there are some stay-at-home-moms whose children attend school outside the home. Our experiences may be almost the same, but they’re not close enough for us to describe ourselves in the same manner. When ill, if your responsibility is mainly the house during certain hours, it’s easier to nap for an hour than when there are children in the home.

At the end of the day, I don’t actually describe myself to anyone except the online community But when I need to, that’s the ‘title’ I use. When people ask me IRL what I do, I tell them I’m homeschooling my children.

One day I may well be a housewife. or a (non-homeschooling)SAHM. Though I think I’d be a WAHM-work-at-home-mom. But that day is going to come after more than a decade if we’re still on this earth. My ‘teaching job’ comes first..for now.

Thankful Thursday-a poem

2011-10-20T06:39:00.001+02:00

"Count the mercies! count the mercies!
       Number all the gifts of love;
     Keep a daily, faithful record
       Of the comforts from above.
     Look at all the lovely green spots
       In life's weary desert way;
     Think how many cooling fountains
       Cheer our fainting hearts each day.
     Count the mercies! count the mercies!
       See them strewn along our way!

"Count the mercies, though the trials
       Seem to number more each day,
     Count the trials, too, as mercies,
       Add them to the grand array.
     Trials are God's richest blessings,
       Sent to prompt our upward flight
     As the eaglet's nest--all broken,
       Makes them fly to loftier heights.
     Count the mercies! count the mercies!
       That bring heaven within our sight.

"Let us number all our jewels,
       Let us estimate their worth;
     Let us thank the gracious Giver,
       Strewing blessings o'er the earth;
     Let our hearts o'erflow with gladness.
       Let us tell the wonders o'er,
     Till our multiplying treasures
       Seem a countless, boundless store;
     Then let praises, grateful praises,
       Be our language, evermore."

{RH, April 16, 1889 par. 8}

My newest babylocs

2011-10-19T09:13:00.001+02:00

The one to the left of it (from our view) is a tad longer than it is. As you can see, I’m in need of a re-ti. Not about to happen any time soon though! I’ll wait till exams are over.

The picture below is just for comparing the two lengths. And to show you a loc I’m worried about.It’s very skinny in one place and it looks like the fat end will just fall off one day. It’s clearer in the shadow. Hmm

No problem with maths..at the moment!

2011-10-19T08:53:00.001+02:00

I must mention that maths is the bane of my existence (academically speaking). It and Physics made my high school days a nightmare. I still marvel that I didn’t fail them. I remember how traumatic it was, and how I was so scared that they’d tell me I would have to quit Maths. But somehow..I survived.

Teaching it has been my greatest fear. I wonder exactly how I’ll do it when the children reach those more ‘difficult’ years. I always tell hubby that he will spend his Sundays teaching Maths

But for now, seeing as they are only 5 and 6 years old and I was supposedly doing ‘delayed academics’ till I realised they were getting bored,they are doing easy things.

I don’t have a number line, there are certain items we just can’t afford when we order their curriculum, even though it’s from Rod and Staff which is very cheap. But then, my son doesn’t need a number line anyway, he’s been able to understand the before/after concept without ever seeing it written down.

At the moment, I use props to help my son when he’s first learning addition-before he is able to answer the questions without needing to count. I bought a pack of transparent bead-like stones and I use those to illustrate. Right now he’s adding up to number 6, so I use them to show things like ‘1+5=6, 2+4=6’ etc

This is an example of a page from his Rod and Staff Arithemtic book.

When your child is a killer

2011-10-16T16:13:00.001+02:00

what do you do?

I was reminded of some bad news I heard (read0 recently about a dear SDA preacher who preaches like he’s on a mission…A mission to save souls. Yet his son was executed last month because his son took the life of a convenience store worker in 1995.

I was reminded of this by the fact that the brother of the man who kidnapped Louise de Waal is the one who helped police to get him hand himself over.

Just being related to a ‘petty’ thief and wanna-be scammer is bad enough. But how do you face the relative when they have committed the ultimate crime? How do people accept that that same loving, kind, humorous relative is actually murderous and psychopathic?

Crime has many many victims. Some who are never analysed by the media. Reading this that was typed by the aunt of the young lady who was murdered “I am Angela Worsham Cagle's aunt. I agree with you wholeheartedly in your statement "Whatever Derrick deserves, his family does NOT deserve what they continue to go through in this case. " I witnessed during the trial, a Christian man who expressed (very sincerely), his desire to relay to our family his sorrow for the murder of our loved one.

Correction to my statement regarding witnessing a Christian man who expressed his........ I was referring to Derrick Mason's father. He made a profound impact on me during the trial, and my heart went out to him.”

I cannot imagine the heartbreak, the torment both this young man’s parents went through when they found out what he’d done. Nor what they are going through. When I saw the father’s notice on FB about the funeral, it made me want to weep.

But as my husband noted. The beauty is that through it all, he has continued to use his faith to strengthen himself and to keep on preaching. Just because his son wasn’t perfect, doesn’t mean the message he preaches isn’t perfect.

The man who killed Louise de Waal has a wife and a son. I pray that they may get through the storm that has encompassed them and come out stronger than they were before.

Crime has more victims than we realise. My definition of ‘victim’ has changed.

We choose how we’ll react to every challenge. May those around the innocent (direct and indirect) victims support rather than vilify.

If Our Homeschool Had a Name

2011-10-14T11:07:00.001+02:00

(SOURCE: here)

My first desire was to teach. That’s what I wanted to do. BUT I can’t stand noise, and I wanted to teach little children. So that was a no-no.

In high school we did those psychometric assessments to see in which direction we should go and mine were teaching and/or something in the human sciences.

On two different occasions, people have asked me if I’m a teacher because I ‘look like a teacher’-and no, I don’t mean those who ask AFTER I tell them I’m homeschooling my two.

And so I thought to myself “Hmm, I’ve actually become what I first wanted to be! I just didn’t ever think it could happen this way!” And then I thought “hmm, the next time someone asks I should come up with a name so when they tell me I look like a teacher I can say “How did you know? I teach at… School.”

And the name of our little homeschool was easily picked.

Three Angels Missionary School (TAMS)

Based on Rev 14:6-12. And of course, as a Christian, I want them to become missionaries, be it fulltime missionaries or wherever they may be. A business man can still brighten the corner he’s in.

(Of course, we could also say that I and the two children are angels. LOL)

Goodbye Louise de Waal

2011-10-13T06:52:00.001+02:00

(source:MAMARY.COM)

Yesterday morning, en route to school, a 17 yr old girl was kidnapped at gunpoint. She was with her friend who was told that if she screamed, she’d be shot. This happened in my country, in a suburb my brother-in-law lives in.

I posted a link together with her picture and the suspect’s identikit. This story bothered me terribly. Saddened me. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if my child was taken by an obvious criminal. Add to that, three little children in my city have been taken and killed in the past 5 weeks. The grief that’s been going around is overwhelming.

This morning I read that they’d found the girls’ body burnt beyond recognition. They are still looking for the suspect.

I felt I just couldn’t post a ‘happy’ Thankful Thursday post under the circumstances. We live behind bars, fearful of criminals. We have community meetings with the police and private security workers because of the crime.

I pray that the family of Louise de Waal, her friend who is probably traumatised, all those who knew her and all those who are moved by this story,will find strength. We need to keep living even though it feels like each moment our life is being ripped apart.

Looking for that blessed hope….

Easy Craft

2011-10-12T04:29:00.001+02:00

I may have mentioned that we’re studying reptiles and amphibians this quarter. They painted a paper plate, it was cut into a spiral, glued on some wiggly eyes (I call them googly eyes though that’s what they are on the pack) and cut out a tongue from hard paper.

Re-visiting Gluten-Free Living

2011-10-11T04:40:00.001+02:00

(SOURCE: medicalchronicle)

Good bye wheat, rye, barley, yeast, lickable stamps and envelopes, some medications, malt, bran, couscous etc.

Yep, after staying off gluten for a year, but still eating the other foods (beans, spinach, kale, beans, green beans, fruit, cauliflower, broccoli) that I was later told I should avoid, coming back to it and being sicker than ever, I’ve come to the horrible realisation that gluten is definitely a culprit. Not only because of my continuing symptoms, (even after doubling the dose of meds that I was given,)but because it pops up every now and then on the ‘Foods to avoid if you have IBS’ list.

I KNEW that I didn’t tolerate bread. But I didn’t think about it- and other foods-having gluten till last week when I was trying to figure out why I was still suffering even though I’d pretty much given up on bread.

And so it’s back to the gluten-free diet. I’m just hoping I don’t become a shadow of myself like I became last time. Doesn’t help that South Africa isn’t very Gluten-Free friendly and the few packaged products we have are very expensive. But hey..it’s worth it.

Discovered a new IBS symptom too… Light-headedness. Pretty disconcerting.

It’s easy finding vegan recipes. Easy to find gluten-free blogs. But finding gluten-free vegan recipes-relevant to South Africa- is going to be interesting.

Did I mention that I haven’t been sleeping well and my exams start next week? I’m totally calm about this. Whatever will be, will be.

Didn’t I do this already? Why I Homeschool…

2011-10-10T06:14:00.001+02:00

I’m pretty sure I did enumerate the reasons I homeschool, but I can’t find it, so I might as well re-state the reasons.

1. Crime in South African schools was already at scary levels. The day I read of a 13yr old girl being raped by fellow PUPILS at a school nearby, just cemented it.

2. Bullying is a concern in many countries. I’d rather not subject my children to others being physically or verbally abusive towards them. It’s my job to protect my children, especially at this young age.

3. I believe that children need a foundation that’s firmly grounded in goodness. I have no clue what other children are exposed to so exposing my children to them is risky. I’ve mentioned before how at age 3 I was racially abused and had my shoulder dislocated by a fellow pupil whose parents had taught that child to hate black people. We don’t watch most TV programs, so my children have no clue about the things I see other children doing-shooting with guns, wrestling, talking about magic etc. Why send them to school where others will tell them about it? Plus recently I was told by a mother of how their child-under the age of ten-has been propositioned by other pupils to have intercourse!

4. I’m a VERY strong old-fashioned Adventist who believes the Bible and the writings by one of our founders should be taken seriously. So..If I could find a Christian, Sabbath-keeping school that had rules about modesty-and that includes no pants on girls, that emphasised a healthy vegan diet, that emphasised the Bible and nature, that didn’t include lies aka fiction in their syllabus, outdoor activity, using our hands to gain practical skills, character development, no competitive sports, a balance between academics and physical activity, training missionaries,that was out in the countryside and not in the city..I’d send my children there.

5. Because of the above points, I therefore believe that it is MY duty to educate my children to abide by Christian principles. To love God and their fellow man and to know what is truly important ie. A godly character, not an academic achievement. But at the same time, this doesn’t mean they aren’t taught to do their best. They need to, in the same way everyone needs to do their work heartily, as unto the Lord. Who needs to compete against other children to learn that principle?

I’m sure I could think of many other reasons why I chose to educate my children at home. No, why WE chose to educate our children at home. But this will suffice for now.

PS. We came to this decision not looking for approval but I certainly didn’t expect the reaction we’ve received from relatives. Nuff said.

My hair’s not stressed!

2011-10-07T06:46:00.001+02:00

Someone shared a picture with the caption “I don’t need a relaxer, my hair ain’t stressed!” Oh, how I agree.

Here’s a picture (Sorry it’s not a close up) of a dear friend whose hair has grown in leaps and bounds and whose hair is so strong and healthy. Back in my ‘old’ mindset, I wouldn’t have seen in this the beauty of out knots and coils. But now I not only admire, but support all those with natural hair. It’s a very rare sight in my part of the world.

She’s looking into more natural products-pity we I(South Africa) don’t stock as much as other countries do. By the way, the feather was picked up and someone decided to put it in her hair. One with nature

Thankful Thursday

2011-10-06T19:51:00.002+02:00

I'm so thankful today for the homeschool help we received by the aid of Providence. This quarter's lesson has been on reptiles and amphibians and today's one was about the gavial aka gharial. I'd never heard of it before!

SOURCE

I looked it up-trusty Google-and saw pictures of it. The picture in the book was black and white so the colour pictures were helpful. We did the lesson in the afternoon and that was that.

In the evening I was busy in the kitchen and my daughter asked if they could watch Animal Plant. Now usually she only asks for 'TV' when dear husband is away. But this time she asked, and he didn't disagree. He prefers for the evenings to be family time. And they get enough Animal Planet when he's away anyway. But things were different today. So they turned on the TV while I continued with the kitchen.

The next thing I hear is my son exclaiming "Mommy, that's what we were talking about!" I turn, and what do you know? They're talking about gavials in India! Talk about great timing. From not knowing anything about it, never having seen a picture of it, to seeing it in motion in its natural habitat-on TV ;-)

I firmly believe our heavenly Headmaster had something to do with that 'coincidence.'

Pregnant Women are Ok Too!

2011-10-04T17:33:00.001+02:00

We were taking a walk this afternoon and walked past a beautiful garden filled with different types of bushes, flowers and the usual lawn. I used it as an opportunity to talk about diversity..in plants and in humans.

We all came to the conclusion that the world would be boring if we all looked the same. So I then spoke about how people are different and we should appreciate our differences, be it in size, height or appearance-there was a time they were into ‘white skin’ and not liking their one. Ahh,the joys of most Christian media being filled with white skin

At the end of our little talk, my daughter says “I even appreciate pregnant people too.” I didn’t know they qualified as a special group, nor that they required more tolerance than was the norm!

Then again, when I look at this pic of me when I was pregnant with my son, I can see that pregnant women are pretty ‘special’ after all

Cheering Myself Up:picture-heavy

2011-10-03T05:26:00.001+02:00

Exams start in 14 days’ time. Of the 156 hours of study time-minimum-that I ought to have had per month, I’ve had an average of 30 hours in a good month. And I can see it. Considering most of our questions are going to be essay type, I’m very worried.

Then..IBS has reared its ugly head with a vengeance. Pain and nausea have been my constant companion. I’m not even telling hubby anymore because I feel like I’m whining.

So..let me remind myself about our small family vacation that someone helped pay for-after this person suggested it. These are just a few of the pictures.

(Almost feeding time)

(In the bottom of a shipwreck that now serves as an aquarium)

This was taken high up in a chair in a moving carousel. I am afraid of heights and was sitting with my son. I constantly asked myself WHY I’d done it while trying to appear cheerful Seriously, my heart was pounding, I wanted to get off, I wanted to cry, and I’lll NEVER do it again.

This was the ‘chair’ we were sitting in. Don’t ask me why my son had a sweater on his head. Unlike his sister who was sqealing in pure pleasure, he was also quite nervous so I had to make sure he didn’t sense my fear. My daughter is a speed-freak too. Can’t wait to own a harley-davidson (though I had to teach her not to call it a harley-david)

Sabbath was spent in nature at the KwaZulu-Natal National Botanic Gardens.

These were growing at the base of many trees.)

The closest I’ll probably ever come to a jackfruit in this lifetime. I’ve heard a lot about it from my Jamaican friend and sister.

Where is God?

2011-09-30T12:52:00.001+02:00

Today I was (still meant to be) mopping the floor and I thought of the trials Christians go through because of their faith. How many times have we felt that God is far away? That He is not listening to us? How often has the widow cried “God,where were you when my husband died?” Do we not hear the orphan cry “God, where are you? Why have You forsaken me?”

And I thought of my favourite martyr, Stephen.

Where was God when they surrounded Him?

Where was God when He was dying a terrible death. A death suffered at the hands of supposed believers?

Did Stephen feel that God had forsaken him?

What does Acts 7:55 and 56 say?

“But he, being full of the Holy Ghost, looked up stedfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God,And said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God.”

Thank you Lord for being there. Thank you that with the eyes of faith, we can also see you through our suffering. Thank you for the promise that our tears will be dried. Thank you so much for dying for us. Thank you for the gift of a life in heaven with you. Thank you for giving us life eternal. Help me to never doubt your goodness. You know best.

Amen.

Thankful Thursday-innocent children

2011-09-29T05:44:00.001+02:00

Don’t ask me why they felt that it would be nice to watch a segment by Pastor Doug Bachelor IN a wardrobe!

I love my children with all my heart. I would never cause them harm out of any malicious intent. Most mothers I know would give their lives for their children-salaried mothers, SAHM ..all love their children, I hate the online war I sometimes see about how ‘esl-sacrificing SAHM are, with the undertone being that other mothers don’t love their children and that’s why they don’t want to educate them themselves.

Little children (and older too) do things that leave you marvelling. They say profound things that make you realise that they are wise too. They make you laugh.

The picture above was taken after they ran away from the room near the kitchen because of the onion. I came looking for them and found them watching something about King Cobras.

Sometimes they try our patience. They may make those with short tempers do things they wouldn’t if not provoked. But they are still children and need our loving care.

The mind is unfathomable. A dear (very) young ‘friend’ (The child admired us so it’s more of a mentee than a friend.) tried to leave this world. It hurts so much. The questions linger. The young person is still alive..but what if..? If the parents are taking it so badly now, if those of us who loved this child are hurting, it would be so much worse if this youngster had succeeded.

I wish I could shield my children from whatever highs(or lows) of emotion would cause them to believe that being gone would be preferable to life. All I can do is do my best to show them how important and necessary they are. Remind them that they have a mission. And even that may not be enough. Prayer is the only other option.

I am one of those mothers who doesn’t lament the growth of her children. I don’t wish they were still babies. I don’t think they are “growing too fast.” (What does that even mean anyway!? Think about it.) But for now, I’m thankful that they are this young, innocent stage where the thought would never enter their minds.

Truly an Original Belle!

2011-09-27T06:03:00.001+02:00

My new design is back, thanks to Ms H, who you can visit over HERE! I’ve already sung her praises before..but I still feel extra special when I see the new look, LOL.

She was extremely patient, I really had no idea what I wanted! But we worked together-don’t ask me how she got any ideas out of uncreative me-and this is the final result. I wanted something to reflect my femininity and I’m sure the colour does just that!

She happened to mention a couple of months ago that for a limited time she was doing free designs and I spoke about it on a whim. And here I am. She really was a patient designer/

Thank you! You are truly an ORIGINAL!

God’s Ears

2011-09-23T14:20:00.001+02:00

Things will go wrong with every one; sadness and discouragement press every soul; then a personal presence, a friend who will comfort and impart strength, will turn back the darts of the enemy that are aimed to destroy. Christian friends are not half as plentiful as they should be. In hours of temptation, in a crisis, what a value is a true friend! Satan at such times sends along his agents to cause the trembling limbs to stumble; but the true friends who will counsel, who will impart magnetic hopefulness, the calming faith that uplifts the soul,--oh, such help is worth more than precious pearls (Letter 7, 1883)! {3BC 1163.6}

The beauty of being in almost constant pain for over 10 years is that you appreciate the times when you are ok. Those moments of relief are precious.

I think of those with emotional problems. Those with traumatic memories, things they cannot erase from their minds. Visions that come unbidden in quiet moments. In my opinion, there are many types of ‘invisible illnesses’ and psychological pain doesn’t get enough support.

That person you see smiling cheerily at you may be hiding a lifetime of pain. Or the sullen waitress who you think is rude, may be holding back the tears. We may never know.

But what I do know is that if we have listening ears, it helps. It gives the same momentary relief that a chronic pain sufferer feels when the pain has abated.

Talking about trauma-be it inflicted by an abusive mother, violent boyfriend or even self-inflicted, is sometimes the only form of relief one can get in this world. My call to us as Christians is to be the ears of God.

We say we want to be like God. Then let’s listen like God does. He is touched with our infirmities, He listens without interrupting, without minimising the pain we are feeling. He tells us to lay our burden on Him. He’s always willing to listen.

Sometimes I feel upset that it so many people want to tell me their problems . I empathise to the point that I cannot sleep. I hate thinking of what a friend went through when he saw his father shoot at his mother. I hate the violence that has dogged a friend of mine. Then I realised that that means there’s something about me that says “Come unto me..”

I’ve read of so many people who felt they had NO-ONE to talk to. So many who’ve said that if they didn’t have someone to talk to,they’d have killed themselves long ago. I’ve read testimonies of people who said they were going to commit suicide but someone sent them a kind message, gave them an unexpected phone call…

Please, be that ONE who will listen. The one who will wake up at 2am and pray for the suffering. The one who will ask ‘How are you?” The one who will say “You matter.”

Sometimes people don’t need food, they need an ear. Be that ear.

Telemarketers

2011-09-22T05:39:00.001+02:00

(IMAGE SOURCE:HERE)

I would not wish that job on anyone. I don’t know anyone who looks forward to answering their phone only to be greeted by some stranger trying to sell them something. I’d truly have to be desperate to take that kind of job.

Usually, I don’t answer calls that show up on my phone as ‘blocked’ by for some reason, my mother’s work phone shows up like that so when I answered the phone yesterday, I thought it was her.

Poor me. It wasn’t. It was a Cell C marketer. Firstly, when you call us, please ask if we WANT TO listen to you reading us your product’s features etc. That would save you a lot of breath. And us a lot of time.

I only listen because at least you’re trying to make an honest living and I don’t want to be rude. I’d much rather just put the phone down when you do that.

This guy read his long spiel about their new offer. Then I told him that I was very satisfied with the service I’m currently on, thank you very much. Hoping against that hope that that would end it on a pleasant tone.

His reply was
“But let me tell you this…I can come deliver it to your work place immediately. It only costs R99 and you get xxx Gigs, blah blah blah…”

I told him again that I myself am not paying for this current service and therefore PAYING FOR HIS would be a bit silly. Told him I am not interested in their product. But he just would not listen. “Oh, but your download speeds will be higher.” He didn’t even know what my current download speeds are!!

I told him that my current service does everything I need and I don’t pay for it so I don’t want his offer.

He continued “Oh,but wouldn’t you want something that is yours?” I told him that I can use my service 24/7. Why spend money (I don’t have) on something else? “Oh, but this comes with a dongle…Do you know what a dongle is ma’am?” I probably knew what it was before he did, considering the job my husband works in and how they’re usually the first to know such things and who said I don’t already have one together with my wifi?

And that’s when I did it.

I cut the call.

There’s a limit, and he had reached it. He was the WORST telemarker I have ever had the ~~dis~~pleasure of talking to. Others are polite, they listen to me and end the call.

Cell C head honcho, if you’re reading this, your telemarketing is horrible!

That is all.

‘Homeschooled children will rebel”

2011-09-18T11:04:00.001+02:00

Seriously?

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard and read that children who are strictly raised will rebel. Firstly, based on research on adults who were homeschooled, if they are raised in a Christian home and are homeschooled, they are LESS likely than the ‘normal’ population to go astray!

Secondly, we don’t homeschool so that our children don’t go astray. We do it so that we give them the best foundation we deem possible.

Thirdly, many non-homeschooled children go astray. So that’s really not a good argument against homeschooling.

God Himself led the children of Israel, and look how often they rebelled. He didn’t then say “OK, I’ll do as the other nations are doing and let you copy them.” Let’s remember why choose to educate our children at home, do it with Christlikenss and leave the consequences to God.

You are doing the best for your children. Ignore the prophets and prophetesses of doom.

30 Things About my Invisible Illness–a meme

2011-09-16T06:26:00.001+02:00

Found at THIS website.

It’s National (why not INTERnational,sob sob) Invisible Awareness week..in the US so just for today, I”m also American.

1. The illness I live with is: Irritable Bowel Syndrome-mainly C but sometimes Alternating

2. I was (formally)diagnosed with it in the year: 2010 (Before that the doctors kept misdiagnosing me. STD,’grumbling’ appendix-am missing an appendix because of their ‘mistake,’chrohns…

3. But I had symptoms since:2000

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Making my already vegan diet even stricter and remembering to take my antispasmodic medication and bowl of special muesli (I dislike it, to put it mildly) to keep my bowel functioning.

5. Most people assume: that I’m ‘ok'' because I don’t look unwell.

6. The hardest part about mornings are: forcing myself to get up

7. My favorite medical TV show is: Don’t have one

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is:Ha ha. The only thing I can’t live without is air..or water..or food.

9. The hardest part about nights are: The insomnia and pain

10. Each day I take 13-14 (natural)pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) (That includes 10 chlorella tablets for mercury detoxification)

11. Regarding alternative treatments I:am very open to anything non-synthetic/non ‘Western.’ The more ‘natural’ the better

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: I’d have to be choosing between a specific visible illness. I’d rather have both my legs and have IBS than to suffer the type of pain my double amputee friend has to handle at least every month on his stumps..and the amputations occurred when he was still a baby,more than a decade ago.

13. Regarding working and career:I’m a homeschooling SAHM. No off-days allowed.

14. People would be surprised to know:how tired and alone I sometimes feel.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been:the lack of fruit and greens in my diet. The inability to rest .

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Never thought there was something I couldn’t do…

17. The commercials about my illness:The ones I used to see made it seem like a minor inconvenience and that the only symptoms are pain and bloating.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Having smoothies and having more raw food..Did I mention sleeping through the night?

19. It was really hard to have to give up:FRUIT!

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: nothing new

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: be grateful

22. My illness has taught me: to appreciate energy spurts and a full night’s sleep!

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: I should eat what they eat and I’ll be cured.

24. But I love it when people: Can’t say… Those I tell tend to forget so no-one really talks about it.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: This too shall pass

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them:Not to compare their experience with someone else’s. We all have different pain thresholds, ways of dealing with chronic conditions, symptoms etc

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is:How I’d rather suffer in (mini) silence than mention how truly awful I’m feeling. I thought after being diagnosed that it would be easier to say “It’s flaring up, help.” But with no-one being able to help out, there’s no point in stating how bad things really are.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: People don’t really live near me so no-one can do anything to help and hubby travels and/or has meetings a lot and work he can’t avoid so it’s just me and the children. My son gave me a hug..does that count? But just last night an online friend wrote a message saying she feels real bad about my symptoms and she basically encouraged me to keep on keeping on.That was great. No cliches', no strange advice…

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because:I am acknowledging for the first time, how debilitating something as seemingly innocuous as IBS really is. It’s more than about constipation and pain. It’s about fatigue, lack of energy, depression, backache, lack of much needed sleep.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel:I don’t know that you HAVE read this list so I can’t say!

Thankful Thursday-the link

2011-09-15T06:58:00.001+02:00

(Typed on Tuesday)

I enjoy homeschooling. I enjoy sharing and learning with the children.

I enjoy it when they talk about things I told them in passing. I love it when their prayers include things from their lessons.

Today’s comment from my daughter showed me that my children also enjoy being educated at home.

“Mommy, I enjoy listening to you teaching us about reptiles. I’m like Mary sitting at Jesus’ feet.”

I feel scared. Scared at the huge responsibility. Will I be able to keep that love for learning in their hearts till I’m done? Will she (and her brother) always link the Bible to her (his) life?

I can only hope so. And continue doing the best I can.

i still have locs

2011-09-12T12:26:00.001+02:00

There’s just nothing to say about them. They only change they’re going through is growth. One thing though. I thought my hair went through my processed phase relatively unscathed but I keep sprouting hair where there wasn’t any before..my edges aren’t as far back as I assumed they are. So I assume the relaxers and the braids etc had taken my foreline away. Well, it’s back now so I keep needing to combine or form baby locs. I hope this pic will be clear enough to see what I mean.

Where was I on 9?11/2001?

2011-09-09T05:16:00.001+02:00

I was here in Cape Town, South Africa. In a University of Cape Town residence.

I remember I was looking for a young man from church who I thought could help me understand my statistics module. I went to his residence and passed through the TV room while looking for him.

I saw it on TV.

Destruction caused by the first plane..

Then while watching…

I remember the sheer disbelief about

The second plane

I was in tears.

The fear the passengers, pilots must have been feeling.

So many lives lost. The people jumping from windows.

The families, orphans left behind.

I’ll never forget it. I felt like I needed to find my boyfriend (now husband) and tell him what I was seeing. It felt surreal. Maybe he would somehow make it disappear.

I felt stupid for crying. No-one else was.

But you know me, I’m super sensitive to others’ pain and to see it happening like that was terrible.

Pain never ends. I see it in my own family. I see it in others’ written stories. I hear it in my friends’ voices. And I KNOW it. The pain suffered by those who were impacted by the events of 9/11 will only be erased by God.

While we were waiting for our flight from Durban this week, my son saw images of the events. He is now convinced that America is constantly experiencing wars and that it’s not safe. No place is completely safe.

Homeschool Geography Experiment

2011-09-08T09:18:00.000+02:00

I don't know if I ever blogged about our trip to the Scratch Patch to learn about minerals and gemstones. But this time we took a more experimental route to our brief foray into Geography for this month, courtesy of a book titled '365 Science Experiments." It has different sections eg.geography, astronomy and biology.

Today's experiment was really a way to demonstrate how rocks (some) can absorb water. I put water in a container, drew a mark with crayon to show how high the water reached, put a brick in ('stone') and then waited a few hours. Took the brick out and noted how the water level had decreased. Hope you'll be able to see that.

Why “Imperfect Mom of Two?”

2011-09-03T18:39:00.001+02:00

The ‘mom’ part is easy…So many women describe themselves by their careers..and my children ARE my job. Raising and training them, that is.

“Imperfect?” Because that is what I am. As I’ve said in a previous post, I”m just a sinner saved by grace. I’m nowhere near to what God wants me to be, but I do aim to be perfect even as He is perfect. The more I learn, the more I realise how far away I am from the standard of holiness that He has set.

Not only that, but I am an imperfect mother. While I strive to inculcate Christian principles into my own children, I must bear in mind that I myself need to follow the greatest Example that ever walked on this earth. I can only train my children if I myself have been trained. And training doesn’t happen overnight.

Nevertheless, imperfect though I am, I won’t be satisfied to stay in this state. I will allow Him to work out His will within me. I will allow Him to get rid of all the defects within me, all the behaviours that don’t show the CHRISTian characteristics that I profess to have.

I am imperfect, fallible, erring and weak. But I serve a God who’s much stronger than I am. A God who can give me the strength I need to do His will. A God who will help me figure out this homeschooling thing.

That was not nice..but I'm back!

2011-08-30T05:41:00.000+02:00

Had some malware issues..Trying to solve it without hubby's expertise -though he helped me get the ball rolling- was a challenge but it's done. I hope that's the end of it!

That's all for now. Need to prepare for October exams. Speaking of which, I'm tired of studying and trying to balance everything else in my life. So I'm going to try finish next year.It will be hectic, but it needs to end.Random and useless info, LOL.

Can YOU see all the tabs at the top of my page?

2011-08-26T05:01:00.000+02:00

I can only see them when logged in via Google Chrome.

While there are some teething problems, I'm grateful to a dear friend at An Original Belle who made the offer on her blog to design layouts for FREE for a limited time! I didn't dislike my blog, in fact even while discussing changes to it, my heart wasn't sure about it. But I'm glad I did. This blog layout reflects who I am. I'm tender-hearted and into all things feminine. And it's something I could have never done on my own.

Thank you, Blogosphere for introducing me to her :-)

Feeding 5000 and Homeschooling

2011-08-22T06:19:00.001+02:00

My morning reading for the children’s Bible school was about Jesus feeding the more than 5000-strong crowd. Two things jumped out at me-the simplicity of the meal He provided, and the way He got a lot, from a little. I thought of different ways this can apply in our own lives.

Our family is trying our best-step by step- to simplify our diets as well. We don’t give our children soft drinks, sweets etc. But more than that, for the little ones to understand the gospel, we need to make it simple, they need to be able to grasp it in its simplicity. No grandiose, jargon-filled lectures, but truth in its simplicity.

Getting a lot from a little…

Sometimes our efforts seem so futile, so pitiful. The thought of training our children to become Christ’s ambassadors may fill us with dismay, we are but faulty human beings ourselves. We have no way of planting the seed, AND making it grow. But this is where God unites His divine strength with our human efforts to help us reap a harvest if we faint not.

The important thing is that, like the boy who shared his food, we need to be willing to give up ourselves, so that God can use our small strength, to feed our children abundantly. So much that they can then take what they have been given, and share it with others.

Oh, one last thought. Jesus said a prayer over the food. Food He ‘created’ in the beginning. How much more should we not rely on prayer when giving our children spiritual nourishment?

Children-love them,but don’t want them

2011-08-19T07:33:00.001+02:00

(picture from HERE)

Yours, that is.

I don’t want them to prefer talking to me rather than to you…

Recently, a friend reminded me to watch a video that I’d been given a ‘heads up’ about via Generation Cedar. It’s called ‘Divided.’ Someone posted a link to it and it once again made me think about something

I love children, but I don’t want to replace the relationship they should have with their mothers.

I firmly believe that it’s best when a young person can say they are able to say ‘anything’ to their parent without fear of ridicule or wrath. They should be able to talk to their mother about the guy they are thinking of courting. To ask for advice. To confess when they’ve made mistakes.

I don’t know about over there where YOU are, but this would most probably quite a number of uboran babies that are aborted only because youths are afraid of their parents. I’ve heard this reason too many times and it breaks my heart.

Yes, we should have standards, we should present the ‘law’ but we should also present the loving Saviour who FORGIVES and wants us to do better. We can always turn away from doing wrong. And our children need to know that they have our support.

One of the sad things is how these young people feel tremendous guilt over the abortion. It’s not something they feel relief about/ (Yes, some move on with nary a thought about it.)

So when a parent tells me that they prefer me to talk to their child because their child doesn’t talk to them but respects and loves me..it’s bittersweet. I’m glad they have ‘someone’ they feel comfortable with, but I’d rather the mother was able to fill that void. I wish for an open relationship. One where the child does respect the mother, but is able to confide in her. Knowing that she’ll get gentle reproof, loving support, wise encouragement when needed.Sadly, some parents have done untold damage by their strong reactions in the past and they themselves don’t trust that they can be calm and uncritical. I admire the fact that they would rather their child spoke to someone they approved of rather than ignoring the situation.

It’s also hard when a youth tells me they need help and they can’t talk to their mother. When you hear of mothers who have punched their teen’s pregnant bellies, jumped on them, forced them to abort, there are just some situations where you know it’s not worth it to try and ‘force’ that young lady to confess or be open.

And so, while I do believe that our mothers should be the first choice. It depends on the mother and the relationship they have with God. If talking to the mother will result in more harm than good, then I urge my fellow sisters to be a mother to the younger generation. Never condoning disrespect of the mother, no matter how ‘bad’ she is, but using godly wisdom to counsel and direct. If we are to have an influence, let’s make it a positive one.

Thankful Thursday-mock mayo

2011-08-18T05:11:00.001+02:00

The recipe is from my one and only Raw Recipe book-Rawlicious.

I would make this for coleslaw (is it cold slaw in other countries? I seem to remember seeing it written that way) but seeing as I can’t have cabbage (Thanks to IBS) I have it with cooked potatoes for potato salad.

1/2c cashews

1/2 macadamias

1/2c water

1/2T ACV(apple cider vinegar)

3T olive oil

3 pitted dates

1T tamari

1T lemon juice

1 garlic clove

1/4t Himalayan rock salt

Blend everything. It’s thicker than the other vegan mayo mixes I’ve made.

Apparently, locs are not modest

2011-08-17T05:55:00.001+02:00

ETA: To clarify something a few paragraphs down…If God said that men who were Nazirites, were to have locs, then how can we deem the ‘style’ ‘immodest?’

As for the men nowadays having locs..I’ll copy and paste something I typed in reply to a friend’s comment “What if someone felt called to make a visible statement of their decision to be set apart in God’s service? Of course, no one would do that that way-or so I believe- but what if, for the sake of argument, someone felt that in the same way others still keep the feast days, they wanted to live a Nazirite lifestyle? I don’t know that as a member of a church board, I would feel comfortable disciplining them." Whereas in other churches, men have been denied baptism until they shaved off their locs.

I’ve had a problem with people saying that others will think I am rastafarian because of my locs; only because of the marijuana stereotype-though I did read that not all smoke it during their rituals. At church a little girl referred to my locs as ‘rasta hair.’

The irony is that 96% of the locked females I know are Christian/ non-believers. So it really is odd that others say that ‘others will think’ I belong to this particular group. And interestingly, many others also say that they don’t assume someone is rastafarian unless they’re also dressed like one, ie.wearing a tam etc with no hair showing.

Another ‘new’ one was a friend who said that in Zimbabwe, locs are not ‘modest.’ What exactly does modest mean in this context? I have a friend also from there who was actually threatened with church discipline if she did not get rid of her baby locs. And another in another African country has had church members even calling her HUSBAND to get her to get rid of her locs.

Nazirites had locs. If God deemed it so, then why the negatvity? I can bet you that if a MAN felt called to be a Nazirite in our day and age and appeared at church with locs, there’d be hell to pay. You can’t win. Stereotypes have so blinded our people that they ignore the majority who don’t live up to those stereotypes.

2nd Child syndrome in two- Children Families?

2011-08-15T05:16:00.001+02:00

During the bi-weekly discussion of Child Guidance with (some including aspiring) parents this Sabbath, an interesting phenomenon was mentioned.

It seems that in families where there are two children, the younger child bullies the older one. Yes, parents do try to get their children to stop, to behave etc, and in our family, this has decreased as I’m sure it has in others..but 90% of the time if anyone is to cry, it’s my son because his little sister hurt him in some way.

This was noted in a family of girls where there’s a 6 year gap, and also a family where the boy is older by about 4 years.

So, the question is..WHY? LOL. The gap between my children is 13 months so it’s not that this only occurs between families with large gaps…

Maybe it happens in families with more children, but none of the other parents mentioned it. I think we were all glad to know it wasn’t only in our families where the older one seemed to be ‘too gentle’ on the younger one. As one parent said “Seriously, for my SON, to cry because of something his little SISTER did is just...!”

For me, what makes it ‘worse’ is that even when I punish my daughter, my son is the first one to get over it. For example, I tell her that she obviously isn’t fit to be with her brother so they should be apart for a few minutes and way too early in my opinion, he goes to her and plays with her as if she did nothing wrong! Why do I bother!? LOL.

Thankful Thursday-The Study of Psychopathology

2011-08-11T05:47:00.001+02:00

(Source-scientopia.org)

(note for newcomers who haven’t gone all the way back. I’m currently doing my Honours degree in Psychology)

I often hear people –and read comments-bandying about certain conditions in an informal manner. If someone is extra careful about something, they are teased about being OCD. Others are told they have Tourette’s, others are called autistic, hyperactive children are seen to have ADHD. These conditions are often used as a joke, or to tease someone who really doesn’t have it.

But when you read what people who suffer from these things really go through, it’s eye-opening. And sad that sometimes these conditions are viewed as something insignificant.

The most eye-opening though, for me, are the long-term effects on children who grew up with one or two alcoholic parents. Yes, our past does not have to define us, but wow, the things I read about, are the very ones I see in friends who come from such households. It gives me better understanding of their troubles, their thought systems, it makes it easier to empathise, because I know where it comes from. In this situation, and in others, truly one can say the ‘sins of the fathers’ have fallen upon the children-in the consequences of their actions.

Studying these mental diseases is hard. It’s sad. Especially the child abuse section. But it is already making me a better lay counsellor (As I mentioned previously, for some reason, people tend to tell me their problems and shortcomings) and I am thankful that I am studying such a difficult topic.

These are truths that are unpalatable, but necessary.

Modesty and Vanity

2011-08-10T07:40:00.001+02:00

I used to dress to impress. You know the saying “If you’ve got it, flaunt it?” That used to be me. The pants, the short skirts, the cleavage-exposing tops…

A friend sent me a link to some sermon snippets by the people at www.holydesperation.com (Not Adventists) dealing with modesty. He was impressed. What jumped out at me was what one of them said. “Society may marginalise you, but God won’t.” And another one “Trust me, God won’t ask you ‘Why were you so modest? Why were you so extreme?’”

I have given many reasons for being modest, one of which was that I believed God wanted me to be modest, and therefore because I loved Him, I would obey.

But another one that I struggled with was vanity. I used to dress to look good. And boy did I..in a worldly sense. When men stop to offer you a lift, when men veer off the road while driving because they’re looking at you, when men tell you you have ‘beautiful thighs, when WOMEN tell you you have a great butt, when women tell you you have a great body..you know you’re making an impact.

But was it the right type of impact for me, a Christian woman who is called to modesty as seen in 1 Tim 2:9,10?

I have been ‘modest’ for about 8 years or so. But it was only recently that I decided that I no longer wanted to be thought of as sexy, as attractive by other men. Only by my husband. Before, I lamented that I looked ‘frumpy.’ It was a difficult decision to make. I felt good, people thought I looked good. I didn’t look different…But for the sake of my relationship with God, I had to stop focusing on my outward ‘beauty’-and ensure others didn’t either.

Yes, there may be those who may still think I’m attractive, but that won’t be MY fault. I don’t want to cause any man to sin by looking at me lustfully and committing adultery with me in his heart.

I am literally wearing my heart on my sleeve. I want to be modest,humble, chaste. I don’t want to ‘stand out anymore. I surrender. The compliments are meaningless. I want to look good in God’s eyes And he looks at the heart. And if my heart is right, my outside will be too.

Grade Levels? I agree

2011-08-08T06:00:00.001+02:00

“The system of grading is sometimes a hindrance to the pupil's real progress. Some pupils are slow at first, and the teacher of these youth needs to exercise great patience. But these pupils may after a short time learn so rapidly as to astonish him. Others may appear to be very brilliant, but time may show that they have blossomed too suddenly. The system of confining children rigidly to grades is not wise.” Ellen White.

SACH Blog Carnival No.4-Nature outdoors

2011-08-05T04:36:00.005+02:00

ETA:Stop press!!
Two entries went into my junk folder and I only found out about them when one of the submittors queried why her post wasn’t added into the post below. I feel horrible. I had started checking my junk folder periodically but had forgotten to these past 2 weeks.
So..here are the ‘better late than never’ posts from our two homeschooling mothers.
Donette, the eagle-eyed submittor who noticed that her post was missing from my first edition, writes about the joys and tragedies of ANT FARMING. There’s a twist in the ant tale, click on the post title to find out what it is.
Nadene over at practical pages has put creativity to good use by making nature study bags to compliment –and contain- their nature journals and incidentals. Great idea, check it out and learn about MAKING A NATURE STUDY BAG.
Back to our regular programming
Let her take time to make the dear Saviour a daily companion and familiar friend. Let her take time for the study of His Word, take time to go with the children into the fields and learn of God through the beauty of His works. {CG 73.4}

Recently, my sister-in-law asked how my husband is. I told her that her dear brother was away for the week-as he has been for a while now, only returning on weekends-and she dubbed me the ‘week-day widow.’
One way in which I try to keep the children’s minds off the fact that they miss their dad, is to take them out on field trips. I love being out in nature, breathing in fresh air…So..off we went on the bus to the biodiversity garden in Green Point. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I knew it couldn’t be too bad!
Thankfully our winter hasn’t been as ‘wintery’ as it has been in the past so the weather was great.

We all enjoyed it. My son enjoyed reading about the different herbal remedies that the Khoi and Rastafarians use. (You should be able to click on each picture to make it larger.)

My daughter was in a hurry to go look at water. Pity I can’t clone myself so as to do what each one wants at the time they want it!

But the beadwork and ‘beaded’ dragon flies, lady birds, sunbirds etc captured her imagination and reading about how useful these things are interested her. So she patiently waited for us to be done before heading off to the water.

We also got an idea of the way they did the framing of their huts.

We dutifully went to the rippling ‘stream’ and enjoyed just listening to it. She said she enjoyed listening to the relaxing sounds..We all did. I learnt a lot, the children did too and they said it was a trip they;d like to do again. SUCCESS

Taryn and the younguns, over at Hayes’ Happenings,visited THE COMPANY GARDEN and Planetarium (Ooh,spot the total ‘lack’ of envy that they went there before I got a chance to take the kids, LOL) with a nature club that they recently joined. Click on the link to see what’s been ‘happening’ in their neck of the woods. Yes, the bad pun was intended! I went to the planetarium on a school outing when I was a child.It was awesome. Coincidentally, I told the children on Monday that I’d like to take them there one day.
On the other hand, Nikki and family, have been members of a nature club for some time now and went IN PURSUIT OF PENGUINS. Find out more about their experience of God’s creation by clicking on the title of the post. (The bold words ) She mentions the mysterious ‘Wildcard’ that Taryn also mentions…Methinks I need to go onto Google in a sec!
Continuing the ‘beach’ them, we find Karen’s Clan out in the GREAT OUTDOORS. One of my favourite things about Cape Town is the ocean. The ocean has a wondrous hold over young and old and thankfully, the weather has been kind to Karen. I hope you’ll enjoy catching a glimpse of some of our beautiful beaches.
And we have another member of a nature club, Wendy. She tells us in her post about 'ENJOYING THE GREAT OUTDOORS' about their visit to a nearby wetland. More than water, there were different types of plants, and grass for an unwell soul to rest on. Hope she's feeling better now. This time, we have a glimpse of the mountain, rather than the sea. Enjoy the Cape Town contrast in our contributors' posts-wild ocean vs rugged mountain and placid pond.

This post features on the South African Carnival of Homeschool Bloggers where South African home schoolers share experiences, ideas, philosophies and much more. You can join the carnival too by heading to the South African Carnival of Homeschool Bloggers sign up page.

Thankful Thursday-good from bad

2011-08-04T05:48:00.001+02:00

The joy of the flower is that it grows in even the most unexpected of places. A reminder that we can find peace in the most unfortunate of circumstances.

(These were growing around-and up- the beams of this structure that supported out water tank in Tanzania.)

These deaths (mentioned in the previous post) occurred just before we were to leave for our mission trip to Tanzania. We were leaving South Africa on the 25th of that same month.

My father-in-law was the only parent figure who approved of, and encouraged, the long journey we were about to make by car. He was really excited about it, maybe because it reminded him of his own church planting in the villages of Zimbabwe. Sadly, the rest of our family (barring one brother) was totally opposed to us going and kept coming up with reasons not to go. Needless to say, father-in-law’s death was a sore blow in this regard as well as the obvious heartache of losing a parent.

But his death served to reunite us with family scattered all over the world. Those who know the situation in Zimbabwe know that many of its people have fled. My husband’s family members are in Canada, the UK, the US, Johannesburg and who knows where else? Thanks to the joys of Facebook, when father-in-law died, people started consoling each other, relatives were ‘found’ on mutual relatives’ ‘walls.’ Now I can share in the joys of more births, accomplishments and know what’s going on in relatives’ lives.

Tanzania was also an emotional time. We saw so much poverty there, the death of children due to malnutrition, widows too embarrassed to come out to see us because they didn’t have suitable clothing, soles of feet so scarred from walking in the bush naked. Yet at the same time, these same people were the most content I’d ever seen. The most sincerely thankful. The most giving. We gave away our clothing, money, sought donations to help them with getting livestock so they could plough in a more effective way.

People told us that we could not go to Tanzania after the deaths. They said we had to remain and take care of brother-in-law’s widow. But we were still able to send money to her even on a missionary’s stipend. Others said the deaths were a ‘sign’ that we should not leave. I believe it was a sign that God still wants His work to continue, no matter what. Not only were we able to give those widows and children material aid, but spiritual nourishment too. The last we heard, a couple of them were now attending church and inviting their friends. We sowed the seed in sorrow. Weeping over those we had left behind in South Africa, the children who’d been injured, one who we weren’t sure would ever come out of his coma..weeping for those in Tanzania. But the joy we saw in people’s eyes was worth it.

When we arrived, the widows we helped went from this

(little girl in class in the nearby church in Tanzania)

to this

For people to know that even in their sorrow, there are people who genuinely care. People who empathise and feel their pain, people who want to help- going there was worth it.

(I’ll be back to reading your blogs soon. I’m just going through some ‘stuff’ at the moment and I am avoiding as much social media as possible..for now.)

In memoriam : 2 yrs on and the void only larger

2011-08-03T18:00:00.001+02:00

My dear father-in-law passed away at a good old age, after suffering illness after illness, on Aug 2, 2009. He told us he was ready to go months before he passed away.

On Aug 3, 2009, some relatives who were going to Zimbabwe for the funeral never made it. And their passing left a gaping hole that seems to get larger with time. Actually, they all didn’t make it to the funeral, though some did live to see another day.

I mentioned that we went to visit my nephews in Johannesburg recently. Their mother is not coping. We can only do so much each month. Both boys needs proper care and attention that they just can’t get at the moment. And so, when a customer at the bakery she works at, asked how she’s doing, she was honest. “I’m not coping.”

Social services paid a visit and said they would take both boys, but the older teen refused. He’s the one who is ‘only’ paraplegic, as opposed to his brother who is basically a quad. The younger one has been told that he’s going to move (into a care facility) but no-one knows when. Government bureaucracy moves sssssssssllllllllllllloooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwlllllllllllly.

While I firmly believe that in most cases, home is best. I’m not so sure that it’s best in this case. They live in a notorious part of Jo’burg (Hillbrow) The older boy, while in his wheelchair on his way home from school was mugged by knife-wielding thugs. They live in an apartment on the first floor so getting both boys’ wheelchairs up and down is a mission if the elevator isn’t working. The boys share a bed and the younger one apparently beats the other one at night wanting food. (He doesn’t NEED the food. After seeing how much he eats and how much weight he has gained, I was tempted to wonder if his appetite control centre wasn’t also damaged in the accident.) They’re not getting any type of physiotherapy, no stimulation, spend all day every day watching TV…Mom gets only one day a week off from work and when she works, she leaves home before they wake up and gets home after 6pm.

For once in my life, I may be swayed into believing that it’s best to move a non-abused child into a GOOD institution where there will be doctors and mental stimulation as well physiotherapy. The question is-WILL it be a good facility? What sways me more is that out of the goodness of their hearts, a hospice took the younger one in after he left hospital and when they heard that he was now at home, they were shocked. They are firm in the belief that he needs professional care.

When their father got into that car that evening. He had no idea that he’d be leaving behind so much suffering. This is why I’m glad the Bible tells me that the dead know nothing and that death is but a sleep. (Eccl 9:5) For if he was looking down from heaven , and seeing what his poor widow is going through, how she can’t even take a day off when she’s ill because she’s the only breadwinner, if he could see what his poor children have to contend with every day, heaven would not be heaven.

This time next month

2011-08-02T09:59:00.001+02:00

I’ll be seeing the shores of Durban again. A kind sponsor has paid for most of our holiday..our first proper family holiday. I can’t wait.

It will also be the kids’ first time in an aeroplane.

We once went to Khwa Ttu (I’ve forgotten how to spell it) but we ended up not even staying the night. It just wasn’t working with the children, they were just beginning to toddle back then, very irritable (sleep times were a horror for all of us) and there was a lot of noise from school pupils. That was the last time we tried to go on a ‘family holiday.’ I guess you could count going on a mission trip as a ‘holiday’ but it involved even more work than usual

Earlier this year, someone felt ‘sorry’ for me after they spent some time with the children and felt that we needed a break away from home. They said they were tired from the short time they spent with them, and wondered how I do it every day. Ha ha. And so resulted this person’s quest for us to go away. With dear husband!

It will be 5 days-with some educational fun included, LOL. And I will definitely enjoy it.

Why are people so competitive?

2011-08-02T09:36:00.001+02:00

Monday morning, all I said was “And so starts another week of single motherhood.” (paraphrased0

If you don’t have the “Oh,your man got you a rose? Mine gave me 12!” then you have the “You think your backache is bad? Mine is combined with a sore tummy and a headache and 5 broken fingers” type of person.

It really irritates me. A young lady once stated that she was having a bad day (no-one knew what was happening in her day, though I did) and someone told her to stop complaining because someone else’s husband had died!

Anyway, the person who responded to the sentence I posted above, is a Christian unwed mother I have been supportive of. She will never know some of the things that were said about her. She will never know the times I said “In her defence, we’ve all sinned, hers just happened to have a bigger and more obvious consequence than ours.” She’ll never know how ‘holier than thou’ some people were about her. Nor how I thought “It could be me, we have different temptations.” I’ve prayed for her, comforted her when she called in the middle of the night when I was tired and sleep-fatigued (and alone because my husband had been away for 2 weeks)from taking care of two children under the age of 18months. So the fact that it came from her was even more astounding.

Basically she was pointing out that she is a single mother all the time and I have it good because her life is worse than mine so I should be thankful.

Who said I wasn’t ‘thankful?’

Point is, when I entered into marriage and parenting, it was never with the assumption that I would do it alone so much. More importantly, neither did my husband. So..yes, I have a right to be disappointed that I’m alone so much. It does get tiring. Secondly, by my mentioning that all is not ‘sunshine and roses’ all the time, does it negate the good things that happen that I also mention?

And more importantly, I need prayers and encouragement because my daughter goes through a terrible time when her father is gone. It’s not about me. It’s about the effect these absences have on the children. That’s what tears me apart.

Even Paul wrote about the trials they went through. The beatings, the jail time…Should I have expected Stephen to rise up and say “Well, at least they haven’t stoned you to death like they did with me?” And at the same time, do Paul’s statements about the suffering they went through make of none effect the fact that he gave thanks in everything?

Life is real. It is bad and good. I’m not going to pretend that EVERY part of my life is ideal. Nor will I enter into the “No, my life is worse than yours” game. Nor the, “Oh, it’s life, let’s just ignore the bad stuff and hide our heads in the sand."game. We’re meant to lift each other up, encourage each other and pray for each other. How will we know what to pray for if everyone only spoke about the good things that happened to them? Yes, we give thanks. But we are also realistic.

Binding the Family Together

2011-07-31T11:00:00.001+02:00

My husband and I are in charge of the Family Ministries department. A while ago he had put together a ‘church climate’ survey-in his capacity as elder, not because of this. Some of the questions were about our perceptions and experiences in our families. That’s the part we focused on for this week’s afternoon programme. It was important to me because after watching a certain documentary linked from Generation Cedar, I was really impressed that we really need to put the family together again.

I won’t go much into the survey results, though I’m pretty sure that at least among those of our demographics-though I was the only South African who took part in the survey so I can’t really say ‘our’ demographics, it’s probably the same for others in South Africa.

And once again, after going through it, it impressed upon me the need to put the broken pieces together again.

But before we went through the survey results, we split members up into groups. Young men, young ladies,married men and married ladies came up with their ideals. We told the married ones to come up with their ideal spouse, ideal son and ideal daughter. The unmarried ones had to come up with their ideal parents (both genders separately, and ideal future spouse. The aim was for us to see what the others are thinking, for the unmarried to see what the others want in them, and for us to see where we are falling short, where we can improve.

One theme was that the women (in our church at least!) want men who are conscious that they are the head of the home. We want to be led by GODLY men. The young men wanted mothers who respect their fathers-which is quite similar-and they wanted virtuous wives and mothers who were chaste. Oh, a HUGE one that came from the married men and the unmarried men was that the mothers must be godly and teach their children, quote “with the Bible as the textbook.” Oh,one that made me laugh as that the young ladies said that mothers should dress in a respectable, dignified manner, not as if they’re teen girls

Within the laughter, was an air of sadness. The youth want to be closer to their parents, parents who don’t overreact and get angry; and the parents want loving, obedient, respectful children.

Now the question is-how will we go about bringing back the “warmth, smiles” and closeness that the survey showed are generally lacking among families? How do we repair, or at least give the requisite skills to mend,the relationships between parents and children?

Especially considering that some of our families are salt of the earth working class, immigrant single-parent families. (Many have their spouses in other countries and are eking out a living here while trying to support themselves here, and extended family back home too. ) Others are on their own but need these skills so that when they return to their children and spouses, (or return to their parents) they can have happier lives. What may work for a middle-class nuclear family in the first world, may not work here. God grant us wisdom!

(Thankful for the writings of books such as the Adventist Home. It will have to be on of our textbooks.)

Death of Innocence

2011-07-29T06:04:00.001+02:00

Yesterday afternoon at about 1pm, I came face to face with a burglary accomplice. I didn’t know it at the time. What I mourn is the fact that I can’t trust people. I grew up opening doors to whoever knocked. Till our home was burgled during the day, and thieves came at night. Then burglar bars went up over the windows, steel gate at the doors and a peephole to see who was there.

For many years since I moved out my parents home, security hasn’t been that much of an issue. When we came back to Cape Town, we lived in security complexes, which was enough for us. No bars etc. My greatest irritation and concern-still is- was the amount of noise neighbours made (make) at night.

Then we moved here and even before we moved I had serious reservations because of the location. If it wasn’t for the price, and for the fact that I have stupid guilt sometimes over not bringing in income, I’d have not moved HERE. (referring to the guilt over finances-Why would I want a more expensive home when I don’t bring any money in? Plus of course,where would we get the money from!?) We had to move, it was time. But this area gave off bad vibes.

I’ve already mentioned the thieves in our backyard incident in THIS post. I have always said that our doors are vulnerable. At my parents’ home,burglars got in through the front door, and through the glass door.

About 2 weeks ago I was taking a walk with the kids in a street not more than 5 minutes away. Houses on both sides of the road for most of it, and some more homes nearby so there were people walking up and down in plain view. But the security patrol guy warned me not to walk there anymore as people in the nearby township were doing criminal acts.

My son’s bedroom floor needed fixing, our bathroom sink was leaking, I was expecting a delivery..And in general, I don’t’ have an inbuilt distrust of people so I always open the door. Not anymore. While waiting for these various people to come, a knock came at the door. I opened up and a brawny male asked me if I’d seen certain builders. I said no. He got back into his car which was parked in our driveway, but behind the garage so I couldn’t see it well from my front door.

He stayed in the car for quite a while, which I found slightly disconcerting, so I locked the door which I had left unlocked before because it’s a bit difficult to open and I didn’t want to keep struggling with it for the men who were to come. I kept looking out the window till he eventually reversed out the driveway and drove off fast.

A few minutes later, the delivery man comes and asks me “So, when did the alarm go off?” I had no idea what he was talking about. Turns out the alarm company armed response guys that the neighbours have hired, were there. The neighbours’ house had just been burgled. The thieves broke in through the front door. Like us,the neighbours don’t have a wall at the front of the property, so their electric fencing only goes round the sides of the house. The alarm was also faulty so it didn’t go off and frighten them.

So..why did the accomplice come to our door? Was he making sure I wouldn’t come out at an inopportune time and spot them? Was he hoping there was no-one home so they could also break-in here?

What made it worse for me is that about a month ago, someone also in the same type car that this man was in, came to the door ostensibly to ask a question. I remember thinking that it was a silly question and even telling my husband about it. Maybe it was the same guys. I will never know.

South Africa is a violent land. Rape, beating, stabbing, shootings are all far too common. I can only thank God that none of that happened to me. It has happened to those I love. With dear husband travelling as usual, it was difficult falling asleep last night.

No more will I trust the stranger at my door.

I claim these promises

“There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.” Ps 91:10,11

Thankful Thursday:

2011-07-28T09:46:00.001+02:00

Call me a doormat, I don’t mind. I’m sure we’d say Jesus was a doormat for washing his disciples’ dirty feet.

Call me old-fashioned, after all I follow a Book that was written THOUSANDS of years ago. Inspired by an ageless God.

Call me a fanatic, yes, I’m obsessed. Obsessed with loving the only One who has ever died –and risen- for ME!

Call me an extremist-who cares? It took extreme love for Someone to hang upon a cross.

Call me crazy, weird..it’s nothing worse than what they called Jesus. They even accused Him of being drunk!

Call me a legalist, the Bible is full of laws. I’ll take that as a compliment.

Call me boring-that means nothing. My life is actually very full.

I am thankful for the peace that comes with believing that one is doing what is right. The peace that comes with a clear conscience.

Why I don’t drink alcohol

2011-07-28T08:44:00.001+02:00

I tend to try stay away from anything that has a deleterious effect on the body. Temperance involves eating moderately of the good stuff, and NONE of the bad.

They say red wine has properties that are good for the heart. So do other foods that have no ability to impair my judgement nor cause liver and brain cell damage. And who said those same properties aren’t in unfermented juice or in the grape itself?

Common knowledge, and the Bible tell us of the harmful effects of alcohol. Prov 23:3, Isa 28:7, Lev 10:9-11, Gen 9:21, Hab 2:15 etc

I’ve never heard of someone being drunk on carrots and being involved in a car crash because of it. Under normal circumstances, you can drink a litre of water and it will ONLY be advantageous to the body. What can be said about alcoholic beverages? Not to mention the insidious effects that only appear after decades of drinking?

Some use the biblical illustration by Jesus of referring to putting ‘new’ wine into old bottles. Historians state that even in those times, they were able to store unfermented wine for a long time by using various methods of preservation. eg “by boiling down the juice to a syrup, or by separating the fermentable pulp from the juice of the grape by means of filtration, or by placing the grape juice in sealed jars which were immersed in a pool of cold water, or by fumigating the wine jars with sulphur before sealing them.”

What about Jesus turning water into wine? The master even told him it was the ‘best wine.’ Back in those days, the ‘best’ wine was unfermented. I will quote from a Scholar “"Pliny, Plutarch and Horace describe wine as good, or mention that as the best wine which was harmless or innocent—poculis vini innocentis. The most useful wine—utilissimum vinum—was that which had little strength; and the most wholesome wine—saluberrimum vinum—was that which had not been adulterated by ‘the addition of anything to the must or juice.’ Pliny expressly says that a ‘good wine’ was one that was destitute of spirit.Plutarch, a Roman Historian who lived approximately from AD 46- 120 even said “"much more pleasant to drink" when it "neither inflames the brain nor infests the mind or passions"

In Acts, we come across the apostles being described as being drunk..on ‘gleukos’ (The Greek word for fermented wine.) Interesting how this is not the word chosen in other portions of the NT when referring to wine. Rather, the neutral ‘oinos’ is used. I’m not saying only ‘gleukos’ could refer to fermented wine, but it’s interesting that that particular word is used to denote what those who are drunk would have imbibed.

So..no evidence of Jesus drinking or making alcoholic beverages, and lots of evidence throughout the Bible against drinking alcohol. Not against drinking alcohol in large amounts. But against drinking alcohol completely.

Which is why I’ve never had a taste and don’t plan on ever doing so.

I didn’t want a daughter!

2011-07-27T06:01:00.001+02:00

When we were trying to conceive, I was very sure that I didn’t want a girl. My monthly ‘visitor’ comes with so much pain that I didn’t want the same experience for anyone else. It’s a situation that runs in the family so I didn’t have much hope that it would miss my offspring.

For various reasons, my husband and I reached an agreement that we would have only one biological child. The plan was that later, we would see if our finances improved, then adopt a child-“after all” we thought, “why continue to add to the population when there are already children in need of a home?”

God laughed.

And gave us Eliora on July 25, 2006.

Someone mentioned that I should be ‘excited’ because it’s been a blissful 5yrs.

I hated to break the news, but it wasn’t blissful. The first 2 1/2 years were years of postpartum depression and an experience I would never want to go through again. (The depression, not the child!) I’ve mentioned it before on this blog, so I won’t dwel on it except to say that it taught me never to assume that someone was ‘happy’ after the birth of their child. Yes, I was happy she was well and healthy. But i just wasn’t happy and no-one understood or cared. And at that time, my poor husband was not in a position to be able to pay for me to seek professional help. So it was just me and God.

Parenting can never be ‘blissful’ but it is full of challenges that strengthen us, and joys that motivate us.

My son is generally a loner anyway. He doesn’t ‘need’ company as much as my daughter does. But I know that he has been enriched by having a sister to play with. God’s plans are best.

Happy 5th birthday to my ‘surprise baby.’

Homeschooling Moms Not O Homogenous Group

2011-07-25T05:27:00.001+02:00

We are not all the same. We aren’t building with the same blocks,, even if we are all building from our homes.

One thing we don’t espouse, is competition and a competitive spirit. So there are certain events or things organised by homeschooling groups I cannot allow my children to take part in.

Here’s a quote from the CBN News site that jibes with my (our) views.

“Getting ahead of one's peers is not consistent with Jesus' urging in Matthew 20:25b-28, which calls for Christians to seek a lowly and servile role to those around them. However, this does not mean that Christians are called to underachieve, as Colossians 3:23 exhorts readers to push for peak performance in every endeavor, but for the glory of God rather than for selfish ambition.”

I sometimes feel like I truly travel this journey alone. But then I remember that my decisions are based on principle, principle given by God. And He has given me a wonderful husband who supports and believes the same. I may not have much in common with other homeschooling moms, but I have much in common with my husband, which some mothers don’t. (I’ve heard –and read about- many women wondering about how to convince their husbands that homeschooling is the way to go.)

Random Questions

2011-07-24T16:07:00.001+02:00

If you were to die today, who –besides your family-would miss you and why? Why would your death leave a void? Will people be able to say “Wow, Polly was such a godsend, what a pity that she is gone.”Or will they say “Oh well, she could have been…but she…”

What legacy are we leaving behind? If we take stock of our lives, of the footprints we leave behind, where are they leading people to? Would we feel guilty about the direction we’ve led people to take or will we feel satisfied that we did the best we could?

Up at 1am!

2011-07-21T02:02:00.001+02:00

We (dear husband and I0 wake up at 4:30am, mainly so that I have time for Bible and university studies and so he can do his Bible study and work etc. But he’s been away and I wake up at 4am (though he’s come back on weekends) and the kids have been waking up much earlier than usual-so much for quiet time! But today takes the cake. I was surprised to hear them laughing at 1:08 am. I don’t know how long they’d been awake for!

They’re back in bed and hopefully asleep till a more decent hour. But I might as well do my Thankful Thursday post!

I’m thankful for the SACHS (South African Carnival of Homeschool blogs carnival) that I’ve been taking part in. I’m also thankful for TRIXI who gave me a link to some free workbooks in our 11 official languages. I’d lamented in a post a while ago that I’d not been able to find Xhosa material to teach the children with and she gave me a link to the Department of Basic Education’s site. Theyhave maths and language workbooks and go up to Grade 6. Yay! Now I have some sort of direction for teaching the kids languages.

3yr old braidlocks, my birthday and comparisons

2011-07-18T07:35:00.001+02:00

Yes. I’m 31 years young. Those who’ve been following my blog know that I started my braidlocks on my birthday-making it very easy for me to remember my locversaries

I remembered last night that I hadn’t done a post so I sat up and asked DH to take some picture. Then took two more this morning..hence the less than ‘tidy’ look! And the darkness.

April 28, 2010

July 17, 2011

Nov 15, 2010 July 17, 2011

Oct 10, 2010 July 18, 2011

Nov 2010 July 18, 2011

Yep, I do see some growth, LOL.

More importantly, cutting my hair, though it was mentally difficult to do,, brought on a metamorphosis that I will never regret.

I’m a rebel–braidlock anniversary coming up

2011-07-14T04:33:00.001+02:00

Yes, natural hair- for me- is about appreciating the texture God gave me. It’s about being as healthy as possible. But it’s also an unconscious rebellion against eurocentric standards that our sisters (and brothers) have fallen for.

I think back to how I wanted my relaxed hair to be. I think back to how when I was a child, I only went for photo shoots, auditions, one advert with a weave on. The thought of appearing on TV with even my own processed hair was anathema.

I may not watch TV anymore, but I see what image ‘African’ stars on the covers of magazines. Look at each member of the old Destiny’s Child, 90% of African celebrities have weaves, wigs etc. Any wonder that most of our society finds it difficult to embrace our napps? Any wonder that some ladies have gone back to processing their hair, wearing artificial pieces etc? I know that for some, it’s the pressure of trying to conform, rather than to try and forge their own path.

On the other hand, there are some celebrities who do rock their fros. I admire them. There’s something so graceful about a women who prefers not to go with the majority. Something so strong and independent. Even when I used to be ‘unnatural’ I used to admire them.

I’m not saying eurocentric standards are bad. But I’m not European and it’s time I used MY standards to decide what is acceptable and what is not.

When I began this loc journey, I devoured others’ blogs. I thought reaching 3 years was a huge deal. I admired these ladies who had persevered. On Sabbath, (Saturday) my braidlocks will be 3 years old. I feel like I’ve reached the top of the mountain. Now it’s plain sailing. I’m really excited about this milestone. Starting your own locs-with no-one else around who;s ever used that method- continuing them under pressure from others to get rid of them, watching the metamorphosis and hoping to encourage your daughter to embrace her natural roots…It’s been like raising a baby. It’s ‘just’ hair, but at the same time, it’s not.

It’s reclaiming my identity. THIS is who I am. Who I was created to be. I’m not ashamed of the texture God gave me. I can say with assurance that NEVER again will I subject my hair, time, money to someone else’s hands. If I can go more than 3 years without seeing the inside of a salon, I can go another 13. If I can ignore people’s negative comments for 3 years, I can continue to ignore them for another 13.

They say our outside appearance says a lot about us. I hope that mine says “I’m happy with what I was given. I’m never going to fight it; instead I’ll work WITH it. I have set my own standards and I will live by them.”

I’ll post locversary pictures later on in the week.

Lesson from my Recalcitrant Children

2011-07-13T09:14:00.001+02:00

Sometimes this home education thing becomes a burden. A burden because I feel like I’m failing. One of the reasons I am glad I can homeschool is because I see the children’s behaviour, their conversation, compared to others, and am grateful that I have the privilege to make a difference.

BUT

There are times when just soon after we’ve prayed, I hear “NO!” followed by a “Mommy…” Or a “Don’t do that!” or “ No, we haven’t done it..” And I despair. ‘When will they become perfectly obedient?’ When will they always be kind to each other. Not bother each other. Not need me to be involved in conflict resolution?’

It reminds me of the children of Israel. How often did Moses and God plead with them? They had just seen His glory on the mountain and the next thing you know, they’re making idols to worship! How often did Elijah, Jeremiah, Nehemiah and all the ‘elders’ teach the children the law then have to lament that they had backslidden and forgotten their God.

Then I bring it closer. What about me? How many times did I-throughout my entire life-disappoint God? How many times did I hear God’s voice and then forget about His Word and do my own thing? How many times did I disappoint my heavenly Father?

Why should I be surprised that my young children are the same?

If God could bear long with the Israelites, who were adults. If God bears long with me. Should I not continue to –with a song in and prayer in my heart- also continue to be patient and long suffering with these little ones?

School Outing

2011-07-11T17:02:00.001+02:00

We’ve been learning about different mammals this quarter so I decided that seeing as it’s a nice day and I wanted to take their minds off ‘daddy’ being away again, we’d go to the V and A Waterfront and catch a boat and see if we could spot some seals.

I’m petrified of water but tried not to show it.

My son is also like me.

My daughter’s a toughie and was in her element, even saying she wants to go on a speedboat next time!

We did see 3 seals but I totally forgot to take pictures because I was enjoying their frolicking in the water so much.

Should I emigrate? LOL

2011-07-08T13:18:00.001+02:00

A long time friend of mine works in the city. She was on the train on Monday at 2pm and some guy tried to mug her. He stabbed her arm-has entry and exit wounds but the knife only nicked her muscle tissue.

It could have been so much worse and I’m glad she’s ‘ok.’

Crime is becoming as bad as it is in Johannesiburg-our crime capital.

If there was an affordable, less crime-ridden, relaxed (no anti-homeschool laws) country with no natural disasters, I’d seriously pray about going there. This is no place to bring up children. And it’s only getting worse with mob violence, mob justice justice and vigilantism already the order of the day

Every day I thank God that we’re alive and unharmed.

Thankful for safety.